to numb myself

against all the evil thoughts..
against drilling the holes in my heart even deeper
against the remaining of nails mark...caused simply by the meekness of mind....
from running away... towards the other end of reality...
land of expectation...and my own happy fantasy ?

can I ever be numb enough.......to move forward against all these odds ?
which keeps repeating itself...never let me go ?

to numb myself....
when I reach there..
I guess all these will stop :)

bombie {=^o^=}

recognition

have you ever met your old time high school friend .......( btw it has been 10 years ever since my high school days...I believe old time is a right word...sadly)

and not being recognized by them....
simply becoz u change so much

or maybe not only your high school mates...
lets juz say some auntie and uncles..neighbours of your ex-home..
where u use to play with their kids...
then they met u again on one of your cousin/ uncles/ aunties wedding..
and they did not recognize u becoz u change....really really much ?

I have faced all that last years....
All my Citi collegues did not recognize me when I became the receptionist of my RM's wedding
when I'm suppose to be the contact person...a familiar face they see in receptionist table so they don't get lost in the massive crowds of ppl queueing to give ang paos--> according to my RM when he was trying to convince me to be his recepts...
wad happen was: they are all perfectly lost...when they saw me...
who is this girl who knows me when I don't know her at all ? How can she know my name and keep calling me ever since she saw me, even telling me my table number? (that's my duty)
U noe wad ? .. I even wave my hands so they can see and recognized me..
and VOILA...nobody succeeded... except my best friends Ineke...

It was supposed to be a good feeling... a compliment that hey... you change so much to the better..
but somehow I was quite upset as they don't recognize me...when my duty is to be the most familiar face in recept table...
and that the pressure is high in office for me to "dress up"...coz I look good when doing so..
off course ....I still have not done that..

but anyway ...the point is....there are many times....many many times ....last years...
my friends....did not recognize me..... hhhoooaaaa...

maybe you think I should be happy...
well... there is a sense of happiness in that ....
that I have changed...to the better... Thanks to Him....

still .... for the very first time after so long I finally saw lots of old friends when I was queueing to go back to Singapore in Soekarno Hatta....
and even one of them was standing side by side with me...and he saw me.. many...many times..
but wad happen again....as I was trying to look him in the eye so he can recognize me... he still didn't........... hoooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he used to be one of my funniest closest friends

and come the other girl... who saw me even when I was queuing for my free fiscal...
and then in immigration....
and another friend... whom almost catch a glimpse of who I am....but then look lost.....
and another girl again......who can see the big me there :P..

none....out of 4....none....recognized me..
we were all in the same class....1-2 :P

Please......recognized me my friendsssss...
Coz I want to break into scream when I saw u guys again...
Like wad we always did in the past when we met and you still reckon me... it was fun wasn't it ?

Thank God ...my Lord will never unreckon me..
however, wherever, whatever I am.... forever He knows me inside out :)

bombie {=^o^=}

Valentine come early... CNY come late :)

I've been thinking about you lately
Like always the thots about you can come up anytime of the day

How are you now ? Have you been alright ?
Funny why I still care...and indeed if you analyze my heart closer... I don't.....really..care..

Anyway...wherever you are ...I hope you are doing good.....
Since I can do any work of salvation to wad has happened in between us..
Here are what I can wish...

I wish you allright
I wish you fine...
More than anything
I wish someday you will shine

Shine like what you've done
Into my life and others
Those whom you have touched
With your heart so tender

lastly....I wish for your happiness
wherever you are.... till it's endless


Speaking about wish....have you heard Chris Daughtry song "Home"?
If you have not... please ask Miss 777 aka Rancu :)... I got it from here..

One lyric of the songs say this :
"Becarefull what you wish for, coz you just might get it all
You just might get it all, then some you don want.. "

Have you ever had a wish come true ?
Thanks God.....I have many....

My wishes come true does not have to be exactly the same as what I wish for....
For this year only... I had 1 :)

I wish for a bouquet of flower....from someone I do not expect
Some that can make your heart beat faster... and your minds rest and set....
Some stranger, some loner, somebody who can shower me with laughter .....
will be good if it's on special day... like birthday or other important ones...
anyway it's just a wish....and wishing great will do no harm...

and... then......I GOT IT :)....the bouquet of flowers :)... when was that ? sometimes in January....
Who was it from ? Someonesss I really do not expect...
Did my heart beat faster ?......For the fact it was hand delivered.... yes :)
Other than that ? erm...perhaps coz I'm too excited that I GOT MY WISH :)
It doesn't have to be perfect....I'm more than delighted to receive them:)... I got my flowers early this year :) YEAY :)

thanks u... http://mushrooms.marelie.com/mushroom.html

so again.. becarefull what you wish for... coz you just might get it all...

Come this Valentine......I wish for......
*fill in your blanks...*


HAPPY LOVE DAY EVERYONE :)
oh... GONG XI XIN NIAN too :)


Bombie {=^o^=}

about alot of things

updating blog in a massive rapid way (MRW):

about 27 dresses :
spoiler alert !!... pls don read if you have not watch.

Basically I love it. Might not be fantastic, but I don need fantastic movie that makes everyone is as happy as "Enchanted" . But I still love it simply coz of the very first few scenes..

She found her true calling when she was 9, helping her cousin in her wedding, and being a bridesmaid for the very first time. Looking back : me too. 16 years back : January 27' 1992.
Yup...I remember the date :) And it's not a wonder, I still love wedding planning till today

Whether her romance resembles my romance life...erm..I don think so :) heheheh :) But I'll keep my faith that I'll walk that aisle of happiness one day, holding my Papa's arm :) I'll be full with tears I guess.... we'll see



about office :
Finally the wait is over. The "letter" has arrived on Jan 23' 08. Thank You :)


about Pak Harto:
Quite shocking, not sad not happy, I guess I feel no feelings.

But yup, he's a great man after all. I don hold that much grudge to him compare to my parents and all older generation I suppose. And maybe it's because I know nothing much about politics and not that I'm interested in it. I find that politics are so much so... a guys field..and so not.. my field...

In politics, wrong can be right, and right can be wrong...
Channel 5 mention, Pak Harto developed Indonesia, lead them with feasible results to Indonesia's development. However, it was known that he did gave favoritism towards his peers and family. All is well, only the gap b/w rich and poor become so wide, which is a problem when Indonesia was hit by Asian financial crisis in 1997. Then...guess we know wads next.

In all his wrongs, I agree he has brought us far enough that till today...none has proven that he / she is measured up to him. Just as..maybe...none....not even him....is measured up to Soekarno... ya ? I'm not sure...maybe...

Anyway, he's gone. As Indonesian, I'm in my mourning week. I will mourn for this country to find a leader who can measure up to him...even more... in all his / her strength and weakneses.




About 2008:
If you have FOEM on your hand today......edition week 2: 2008, open up and read the article on everything is illuminated (strike off) Accelerated. And what I felt on 2007 - 2008, is as pictured as the article.

As great and fun as it is : 2007 is a processing year. A year full of on-the- job- life- lesson training. It aint easy, yet it gets us started.

Sure 1 thing I know is.. I have left my 1 Ton of useless burdens together with the memorie of 2007. It feels so much lighter now.

Coz I am too confident to say now :
Surely mercy and goodness shall always follow me..for as long as I follow You my Dear heavenly.
And there's nothing that You and me can't handle together today...




About someone :
We want you Girl... cepat kembali dimanapun kau berada......
Jangan berlari dengan langkah "10 hari"


About buaya and buayi:
Dear Crocodiles,
Congratulations !! I am thrilled to know that you are still together now. Not that I did not see it coming... We share the joy that you had seeing you guys enjoying your relationship..
Why ?
As I said to Cheryl and Hui Ee.... there is no other better way to keep these crocs fooling around with the rest...other than making them fooling each other...

May all buayas find buayis as their spouse...and the other way around too... that we...the common people with common sense and values... can feel save falling in love with one... knowing that buayas and buayis are now centralized in one corner of the world..
Off course..that will not happen... So please be extra carefull in knowing a person :)

But then at least I am happy that I know 1 Crocodile couples have been captured together. You guys are officially out from my friends list... and stays in strangers :) I wont object to your relationship....but I will make sure one day...when I have kids...they will not fall to your kids.. the Double crocs combined power....wow...scarry :P

that's all about ..

bombie {=^o^=}

God of my Forever

A song...that touch deep within my heart...just by the very first line...and all da way till it's fine...

From City Harvest Singapore


God of my youth I remember
Your call on my life took me o'er
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I've written my life
Tells of the story I have with You my Lord
I want the world to know

God of my forever
And forever I'm with You
My life is saved with a price Your sacrifise
Redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King

God of my all I've surrenderred
My hear finds its rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for You has grown

Nothing matters when You're here with me
In the end just to hear You say "well done"
Bowing before Your throne

Forever and ever
Jesus You alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
With you I walk this narrow way

love and wisdom....

Went to Ignite Yesterday...
Though not so fitted to the main purpose of evangelising schools...and winning over your battlefield, I went to accompany Shinerz (sans, bel, cin) who are going there...

Praise and worship session..... To my surprise....Hosanna was sung :)
It has been my fave songs...which made me quite sad that it wasn't recognized by many...
This song has inpired me to choreograph again despite my limitation...(dari taon 2007...till now belon jadi... the very rough outline is there... content is not so crystal clear yet....finishing it will not be an achievement....but an answered prayer :)

Here's what I learn again yesterday:
Have you ever been really in love ? not lush neither crush....
If you have..have you notice that if it's within your power...u want your whole world to know you are in love and you want them to know who your lover is ....
Then He is just saying....I love you...and I want my whole army of angels and heaven know I'm in deep love to you...
I'm just asking.... Love Me again with your first love please....where u just can't wait to tell the whole world....Hey...I'm in love...

Winning your fields.... is all down to one word :.... Love.....Love Him...and nothing stopping u and me :)

And thanks so much to Ko Omar's sermon...
I had realized long ago... I am far from achieving the perfect wisdom at this point of time...
And now I realize that I have not even reach the level of wisdom even of a fool....
To me salvation belongs to God...but it's everyone responsibility to yearn for it...
and if you don't yearn hard enough....like all those souls out there who fails along the way ...then it's not my business.... too bad... I cant help u much....

No wonder....
As written in the bible....only those of who has attained the Godly wisdom..that will win souls for eternity....
I have not......reach the destination......
But I can see my pitstop :)

Guide me to Your wisdom Father....
and flee me from my owns...

bombie {=^o^=}
still not even a fool....
running toward being wise.....

weaknesses

I am fine with:
1. Things I'm not supposed to know...and is not known to me
2. Things that are okay for me to know....and are known to me...
3. Things that are okay for me to know... and not known to me ...simply coz it doesn't matter even if I know or not.... it wont change the condition..that even when I finally know.. I really feel indifferrent about it...

I am not fine with:
1. Things I'm not supposed to know....and be made known to me...
2. Things that are actually okay for me to know.... but accidentally or purposely be made not known to me....coz it was thought as something that wont matter to me..when they do....
3. Things that are actually okay for me to know.... but accidentally or purposely be made not known to me....coz it's considered as something that matter to me.... when actually : it doesn't cut a big deal...

And for all holes, cut, marks, scars left by things I'm not fine with....I'm counting on so much to Your Grace......

2 Corinthians 12 : 9
For "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Above are my weaknesses....and in Your hands I lay them...

bombie {=^o^=}

okie lah

So far so good...
Things fall in place...

Next question....one last thing to settle...
should I ? ... should I not...

hm..

Bombie {=^o^=}

nyang lucu:)

Life needs Jokes...biar ga stress :)

Today, a customer called. She was trying to look for Imel..but she's out of office.
Then she remembered talking to a girl ....Imels collegue..whose name she forgot...
So she ask me...in mandarin to mention all names of Imels collegues that help her..
But she doesn't noe how to say " collegue " in mandarin..

Jadilah.....dia nanya ke orang di belakang dia......
" Eh...waktu itu nama temen sePERGURUAN-nya Imel siapa yah ? Yang bantu dia...."

Ampir aja gua meledak ketawa.....kl ga ditutup teleponnya....customer bingung kali napa gua ketawa kepingkal pingkal...

Lah orang ini Bank....kok jadi perguruan... pengsan !!! Butong pai kah kita ? *jadi ketawa lagi sekarang..*
Lumayan lah ....to wake me up after ngantuk2 post lunch period.....

Then gara gara si perguruan itu...jadi inget lagi jokes di Guangzhou...ketika kita udah kedinginan ga karuan and laper nian...

Gara2 Bonar kl ga salah... atau ieie yah ....bawa buntelan gitu...jadi keliatan kayak Kaipang...Beggar clan..

Then Bonar nyeletuk....kita kayak Kaipang yah......ini Widiya udah join neh..
dia udah kaipang satu (rambut widiya lagi dikuncir)..

Kl naik tingkat jadi kaipang dua....bulu dadanya di Kaipang...
Kl naik lagi..jadi kaipang tiga...bulu kaki...
Next level....Bulu ketek....
Lastly...... Dewa kaipang : Bulu Idungnya aja kena Kaipang....
Wow !!!!!

Emang Garink bikin idup lebih idup :)

*nyang heppie* bombie {=^o^=}

Back to new year 2008

Stelah sekian lama idup.. 26 Christmas, 26 New year, 25 Valentine...and 26 lain lainnya....
Celebracion jadi terasa biasa aja...nothing much to expect...nothing much to hope...
Jadi sperti hari hari lainnya....

At least that's how I felt when I was leaving Singapore 2007...and when I entered 2008....
I didn't get the "feel" or "mood" when I was in my holiday itself...

Tapi anehnya sampe sekarang...gua masih jetlag neh... still on superbly Holiday mood..
Dalam hal ini...gua akuin gua selalu pentium 1....telat banget in adjusting my mood :P...Jadi gua kangen orang bukan pas meluk mereka di airport....atau gua sedih or happy not on the moment...always ada spasi....

Maybe I'm still in denial kl 2008 itu udah mulai ...... hehehe.... *padahal udah balik office.....udah Dawn prayer, udah meeting, udah nari... udah sibuk lagi*.....

But yah... saatnya touch ground kembali : I'm in SG now.... bukan di Disneyland or Venetian...

My Holiday...dalam ketidaksiapan hati gua... was really a great holiday...my greatest so far considering this is my longest holiday ....and kesuksesan gua di BEIJING LU !!..Tapi jelas bukan gara gara itu doang dong..... shopping bukan segalanya.... setuju wanita2 ?

Simply said...I ask God for an eye opening trip...and I got it...in many areas of my questions....
Blessed China Lord....for above all they have blessed me so much with their fire from You...

A Bonus for this trip will be my stay in Venetian and my trip to Disneyland....If I can...if it's within my means...I wish to live in Fantasy land forever....:)...My best Christmas Eve of my life is spent in this Disneyland......with not so real Characters :P.. hahaha....26..and still so childish at heart :P...

And now : 2008:.... hm.... mo ngapain yah ?
Resolution... banyak banget neh.. besok baru difinalize yang mana yang matter for this year..

Kl bisa tunda... biar itu jadi jatah 2009 !:) I want a fulfilled resolution....Not just the same list every year....

On challenges in 2008..waduh..ramalan cuaca udah bilangin "this is gonna be a more challenging year than 07"..... and did bombie say Amen to that ? .... Lupa euy..* jawaban paling aman....lah 2007 aja empot empotan....*...

But my new platform, my new cup, my new share, my new portion.....is already sending signals....asking me for more fuels!!! Takut ? Jelas...Capek? Sering banget kali...

So.... daripada pusing2 ...My Prince told me : Jalanin aja...ga bisa ngapa ngapain juga kan ?... just walk on then.... Terus my Idol: Om Djohan tentunya....told us to: don limit God's space....get out from your box and see that you can walk out from it.....sembuh total dari kelumpuhanmu.....Then...my leader Ko Omar said:...NO COMPROMISE....

Jadi....lengkaplah sudah caranya jalanin 2008 ini:
1> Hajar saja.... masih idup ini....ga ada jalan lain bok...
2> Keluarlah dari HDBmu dan dapatkan Condo yang sudah menanti dari Bapamu
3> Usir si Lot....

ya udah.... yuk jalan :) sambil nyanyi : Ini tahun Muzizat and kesembuhan:)

bombie {=^o^=}