where's my way out ?

I think I need alot of sleep..
but when it's time to do so.. I juz don feel like sleeping..

Tika's birthday today..
sweet 17... hahaha :).. lama banget yah udah over

in the midst of the celebration...
I receive some news..
Which makes my hopes crushed..
it somehow bring me down to earth..
I should have put my hopes in You...
not in me....

and then those feelings come back
I used to think that my NUS down days were over..
Initially when I started there... it was all gloomy.. I remember having much hard times..
and no one was really literary there...
But when I remember those days.. somehow I always think that maybe it's juz me making small things big that time...
I feel like given the same situation, my current me will just handle it with more confident... nothing much of a big deal anyway...
I was too dramatic that time... that's wad I thot.....

Yet....
I will never forget His hands that saved me.....
Momentz when I was so deep in mud of sorrow...
Are momentz when I discover how safe I am in Him who loved me
I was young... I thot.... and moreover... weak...
in that... He is so strong..
those period...are exactly the period where I count on Him the most .. in my life...

you know what?
this .... down/ sorrow feeling... no matter how bad/ painful/ lost it made feel...
no matter how I feel like it's not right to be so sorrowfull
I'll let it be here.....

coz it strike me again ......when I'm weak...He is strong..
and I'll fall deeper to Him... even more :)

bombie {=^o^=}

:P

Sebagai seorang melankolik...
I am one of the person yg selalu ngaku2 ke orang2...
Kl gua punya radar yg cukup kuat buat ngecek apakah seseorang itu lagi jatuh cinta..
Ga ada yg mungkin ketutup dari mata gua :)

And mungkin dari itulah...my biggest mistake in making assumption..
Dengan asumsi yg sama... gua percaya banget kl mereka2 harusnya tau feeling gua.....
terlebih lagi mereka yg selalu ngaku2 kl mereka adalah orang2 yg sama seperti gua...
jago menebak :) ngakunya seh gitu...
en...kl udah geto.. gua berasumsi....udah harusnya dong mereka jaga baik2 perasaan gua yg konon terkenal sensitive and galak ini :P..

Tp dari yg gua gather....jawabannya cuman satu:
"Gua ga tau kl ternyata feeling itu ada....asli....gua pikir gua tau...ternyata gua ga tau... ya ampun.. kok bisa yah"
dan nasipun jadi bubur...bubur kasih telor jadi bubur telor..tambah ayam lebih enak:P

en selama ini gua tetep question mark: kok bisa seh neh orang2...ngaku2 sensi..padahal kebalnya kayak tembok China... kalah tebel kl tuh tembok:P

and so the conclusion come:
we can always see who is in love with who and how can all that happen..
but when it comes to us......whether we are loving someone...
or being loved by someone..
aren't we ..most of the time.. the last person in the world to realize ?
heh :P.. lucu :P

it applies to you...

it does not apply to me though...
or maybe this is what I believe...that I am not one....
as said... I have radars every way.

but is it so ?
recently.....
kayaknya gua udah join the rest of the world....downgrade ketajeman gua...
jd org yg blur karena cinta..or maybe cuman perasaan aja
tambah lagi semua dinding protection yg ada..
en segala macam tanda tanya..

males ah :)......

yg kumau... just a mature love :P..
yg simple aja deh.. indah di waktuNya..
no need drama rama mama....
it's so over...

my primary 5 first love moment is so over..

jadi..yg simple aja yah Bapa :)
capek struggle terus :)


lissa {=^o^=}

being 27

My birthday : March 26' 08. I am 27 now.
On that day :
1> I received 2 bouquet of flowers
2> I received 3 birthday gifts
3> I dressed in white
4> I celebrated with my cousins, and we had REAL FUN :)
and in the week itself : I have a full long celebration days
From Tuesday, my birthday, thursday, Friday... till the following week..

wad does it mean to be 27 ?
1> literally, and cleary : I'm getting nearer to 30
2> slower metabolism...need more sleep...need more time to think...
3> more ppl on the pathway carying signage that say: get a man !!..bleh...sometimes really getting sick of this warning board...
4> more white hair, fallen hair, and I hope fallen weight.. HAHA
and many more off course....u'll understand when u are 27 (sok tua)

Yet let me summarise what i noticed lately :

1> to all the men out there: persistance payoff: definitely
If you are in love... and you know she's the right one... don ever let go before u fight your best battle....for if you persist... it might just pay off :) if she's not shaken in the end..then she's just not the one for u......
but girls hearts ....can always be melted by persistance :) ...so yups..it pays off in 1 way or another !!! this is one important key to a lady's heart... persistance !!!! and I'm telling u for real...
but remember : keep it real lah !! don fall for fiona xie or some jap/ korean/ taiwan actress and persist till u ignore ur surrounding....

2> to all the women out there: persistance might lead to destruction, if you refuse to let go and be real.
It's a waste of time ladies to hang on and refuse to accept reality ...... You might learn alot along the way...but you can learn all those without being hurt that bad in the end......and still not reaching even a tip of his heart.....
men's hearts..... most of the time......are not created to be melted by ur admiration!
If he does, thank God... if he doesn't ...well.. expected :) they are not made to be chased after... they are to pursue after you ... and me off course....I'm a woman right ? last time I check I'm still one...

well...those are old schools lesson ur mom might teach you anyway... so next

3> I learn that I still know nothing much....yesterday...
I'm lost.. blur...shock...wondering how in the world my friend can tell me all those.. I feel lost the fact that I should have known these...
and by then....I feel Im not ready to take on the world :)

4> then today..I learn that I know too much..... that it jumbles up my world..
for they say... ignorance is a bliss........sometimes knowing too much... is a waste of mind too..

heh :) so much of being 27....... we'll see how it goes :)
till then... tata :)

oh btw : the plan fail...but I wont give up !! we'll see next year..hope my wish come true :)

bombie {=^o^=}

antara aku, kau, dia, dengan - nya

sometimes..life can be really a joker

First, there were me and him
my heart goes out to him till it hurt so bad
then there you were, standing all along beside me
and so you join me in fighting him..
guess wad ? You win...

then there was she
a company of him .. growing closer to me
I push her out of my picture...for sometimes it bothers me too much to care
my bad... or my luck ? I can't say...

so now that you win...
and he and she are out of our dreams...
I thot I'll be happy... juz ..my thots

yet out of no where, he returned again..
this time around...he shake ur presence...
in fighting him....I pull your help unknowingly...
in fighting you......he push his help...unwillingly...

but it's all right.....to my selfishness...
as long as I am saved....
coz both of you...are never actually aware that you guys are in the fight...
sorry guys....this I say : my bad..... but seriously : u both loose nothing
only me...shattered :P

then in this final battle.... he draw her back in the picture...
wow ? ... is this all a joke ? coz I saw it as it is..
and in his view.......our story is a joke too...
how painful is that ? when all is real to me......
the sorrow, the fight, the tears, the years I wasted...
and I have not settle it right with u....
these ....are all jokes right ? I wish....

antara aku, kau, dia, dengan-nya...
sudah seharusnya ga ada apa apa...
sudah saatnya tuk lupakan saja..
dan kita melangkah hadapi dunia
yg penuh tanda tanya....
kan apa yg terjadi dengan cerita kita
yg benernya.... biasa aja
cuman penuh bumbu en merica...
diselipi tawa dan air mata
serta seruan yg kadang ceria
namun tak jarang penuh derita

antar aku, kau, dia, dengan-nya
semoga cepet endingnya
and finaly biar kita baik2 aja...
sampai selama lamanya...

bombie {=^o^=}

do you know what amazing is ?

I thot I knew.... Turns out I don't
till this BBC...7-9 March 08

This is my 7th BBC....
after so much of it...and now that I'm "mature" enough to be called auntie sometimes :P
I got to admit... I went with not much excitement..
funny enough : even the night before BBC itself...I was trying so hard not to go home early from office.....
so I stayed back there even though I got nothing much more to do... :P.... all day way till 9.30 pm chatting with my friends....followed by dinner that make me reach home at 11PM... mission accomplished... :p
I felt happy I reach home late ...then I don need to think much about the camp...how is it gonna be like...

it's just that....somehow I don't want to go to BBC and not be a blessing to others..
affected by my lazy mood...and kind of lost nonchalant feeling " what's more in store God? I think I have experience how amazing U are....but the theme was put simply AMAZING YOU.... we all know that.....what do I need to expect ?"

turns out indeed Amazing is He...
and Awesome is Him who we worship...
whose innocent blood has been shed to forgive me.....
and holy flesh broken into pieces...

simply put:
Here I am my child...
Annointing you with my spirit that you may know how AMAZING I am
I will deal with you myself...
and no ene else will come in between :)

and with that........WOA :P...I'm burned :)... annointed :) like never before..
I'll keep it forever.. in my heart, my mind..and my spirit Lord :)

08.03.08
a new beginning for Andre and Olivia..
a new beginning for bombie too :)

for indeed amazing is He
who was, and who is, and who will be coming :)

{=^o^=}

to numb myself

against all the evil thoughts..
against drilling the holes in my heart even deeper
against the remaining of nails mark...caused simply by the meekness of mind....
from running away... towards the other end of reality...
land of expectation...and my own happy fantasy ?

can I ever be numb enough.......to move forward against all these odds ?
which keeps repeating itself...never let me go ?

to numb myself....
when I reach there..
I guess all these will stop :)

bombie {=^o^=}

recognition

have you ever met your old time high school friend .......( btw it has been 10 years ever since my high school days...I believe old time is a right word...sadly)

and not being recognized by them....
simply becoz u change so much

or maybe not only your high school mates...
lets juz say some auntie and uncles..neighbours of your ex-home..
where u use to play with their kids...
then they met u again on one of your cousin/ uncles/ aunties wedding..
and they did not recognize u becoz u change....really really much ?

I have faced all that last years....
All my Citi collegues did not recognize me when I became the receptionist of my RM's wedding
when I'm suppose to be the contact person...a familiar face they see in receptionist table so they don't get lost in the massive crowds of ppl queueing to give ang paos--> according to my RM when he was trying to convince me to be his recepts...
wad happen was: they are all perfectly lost...when they saw me...
who is this girl who knows me when I don't know her at all ? How can she know my name and keep calling me ever since she saw me, even telling me my table number? (that's my duty)
U noe wad ? .. I even wave my hands so they can see and recognized me..
and VOILA...nobody succeeded... except my best friends Ineke...

It was supposed to be a good feeling... a compliment that hey... you change so much to the better..
but somehow I was quite upset as they don't recognize me...when my duty is to be the most familiar face in recept table...
and that the pressure is high in office for me to "dress up"...coz I look good when doing so..
off course ....I still have not done that..

but anyway ...the point is....there are many times....many many times ....last years...
my friends....did not recognize me..... hhhoooaaaa...

maybe you think I should be happy...
well... there is a sense of happiness in that ....
that I have changed...to the better... Thanks to Him....

still .... for the very first time after so long I finally saw lots of old friends when I was queueing to go back to Singapore in Soekarno Hatta....
and even one of them was standing side by side with me...and he saw me.. many...many times..
but wad happen again....as I was trying to look him in the eye so he can recognize me... he still didn't........... hoooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he used to be one of my funniest closest friends

and come the other girl... who saw me even when I was queuing for my free fiscal...
and then in immigration....
and another friend... whom almost catch a glimpse of who I am....but then look lost.....
and another girl again......who can see the big me there :P..

none....out of 4....none....recognized me..
we were all in the same class....1-2 :P

Please......recognized me my friendsssss...
Coz I want to break into scream when I saw u guys again...
Like wad we always did in the past when we met and you still reckon me... it was fun wasn't it ?

Thank God ...my Lord will never unreckon me..
however, wherever, whatever I am.... forever He knows me inside out :)

bombie {=^o^=}

Valentine come early... CNY come late :)

I've been thinking about you lately
Like always the thots about you can come up anytime of the day

How are you now ? Have you been alright ?
Funny why I still care...and indeed if you analyze my heart closer... I don't.....really..care..

Anyway...wherever you are ...I hope you are doing good.....
Since I can do any work of salvation to wad has happened in between us..
Here are what I can wish...

I wish you allright
I wish you fine...
More than anything
I wish someday you will shine

Shine like what you've done
Into my life and others
Those whom you have touched
With your heart so tender

lastly....I wish for your happiness
wherever you are.... till it's endless


Speaking about wish....have you heard Chris Daughtry song "Home"?
If you have not... please ask Miss 777 aka Rancu :)... I got it from here..

One lyric of the songs say this :
"Becarefull what you wish for, coz you just might get it all
You just might get it all, then some you don want.. "

Have you ever had a wish come true ?
Thanks God.....I have many....

My wishes come true does not have to be exactly the same as what I wish for....
For this year only... I had 1 :)

I wish for a bouquet of flower....from someone I do not expect
Some that can make your heart beat faster... and your minds rest and set....
Some stranger, some loner, somebody who can shower me with laughter .....
will be good if it's on special day... like birthday or other important ones...
anyway it's just a wish....and wishing great will do no harm...

and... then......I GOT IT :)....the bouquet of flowers :)... when was that ? sometimes in January....
Who was it from ? Someonesss I really do not expect...
Did my heart beat faster ?......For the fact it was hand delivered.... yes :)
Other than that ? erm...perhaps coz I'm too excited that I GOT MY WISH :)
It doesn't have to be perfect....I'm more than delighted to receive them:)... I got my flowers early this year :) YEAY :)

thanks u... http://mushrooms.marelie.com/mushroom.html

so again.. becarefull what you wish for... coz you just might get it all...

Come this Valentine......I wish for......
*fill in your blanks...*


HAPPY LOVE DAY EVERYONE :)
oh... GONG XI XIN NIAN too :)


Bombie {=^o^=}

about alot of things

updating blog in a massive rapid way (MRW):

about 27 dresses :
spoiler alert !!... pls don read if you have not watch.

Basically I love it. Might not be fantastic, but I don need fantastic movie that makes everyone is as happy as "Enchanted" . But I still love it simply coz of the very first few scenes..

She found her true calling when she was 9, helping her cousin in her wedding, and being a bridesmaid for the very first time. Looking back : me too. 16 years back : January 27' 1992.
Yup...I remember the date :) And it's not a wonder, I still love wedding planning till today

Whether her romance resembles my romance life...erm..I don think so :) heheheh :) But I'll keep my faith that I'll walk that aisle of happiness one day, holding my Papa's arm :) I'll be full with tears I guess.... we'll see



about office :
Finally the wait is over. The "letter" has arrived on Jan 23' 08. Thank You :)


about Pak Harto:
Quite shocking, not sad not happy, I guess I feel no feelings.

But yup, he's a great man after all. I don hold that much grudge to him compare to my parents and all older generation I suppose. And maybe it's because I know nothing much about politics and not that I'm interested in it. I find that politics are so much so... a guys field..and so not.. my field...

In politics, wrong can be right, and right can be wrong...
Channel 5 mention, Pak Harto developed Indonesia, lead them with feasible results to Indonesia's development. However, it was known that he did gave favoritism towards his peers and family. All is well, only the gap b/w rich and poor become so wide, which is a problem when Indonesia was hit by Asian financial crisis in 1997. Then...guess we know wads next.

In all his wrongs, I agree he has brought us far enough that till today...none has proven that he / she is measured up to him. Just as..maybe...none....not even him....is measured up to Soekarno... ya ? I'm not sure...maybe...

Anyway, he's gone. As Indonesian, I'm in my mourning week. I will mourn for this country to find a leader who can measure up to him...even more... in all his / her strength and weakneses.




About 2008:
If you have FOEM on your hand today......edition week 2: 2008, open up and read the article on everything is illuminated (strike off) Accelerated. And what I felt on 2007 - 2008, is as pictured as the article.

As great and fun as it is : 2007 is a processing year. A year full of on-the- job- life- lesson training. It aint easy, yet it gets us started.

Sure 1 thing I know is.. I have left my 1 Ton of useless burdens together with the memorie of 2007. It feels so much lighter now.

Coz I am too confident to say now :
Surely mercy and goodness shall always follow me..for as long as I follow You my Dear heavenly.
And there's nothing that You and me can't handle together today...




About someone :
We want you Girl... cepat kembali dimanapun kau berada......
Jangan berlari dengan langkah "10 hari"


About buaya and buayi:
Dear Crocodiles,
Congratulations !! I am thrilled to know that you are still together now. Not that I did not see it coming... We share the joy that you had seeing you guys enjoying your relationship..
Why ?
As I said to Cheryl and Hui Ee.... there is no other better way to keep these crocs fooling around with the rest...other than making them fooling each other...

May all buayas find buayis as their spouse...and the other way around too... that we...the common people with common sense and values... can feel save falling in love with one... knowing that buayas and buayis are now centralized in one corner of the world..
Off course..that will not happen... So please be extra carefull in knowing a person :)

But then at least I am happy that I know 1 Crocodile couples have been captured together. You guys are officially out from my friends list... and stays in strangers :) I wont object to your relationship....but I will make sure one day...when I have kids...they will not fall to your kids.. the Double crocs combined power....wow...scarry :P

that's all about ..

bombie {=^o^=}

God of my Forever

A song...that touch deep within my heart...just by the very first line...and all da way till it's fine...

From City Harvest Singapore


God of my youth I remember
Your call on my life took me o'er
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I've written my life
Tells of the story I have with You my Lord
I want the world to know

God of my forever
And forever I'm with You
My life is saved with a price Your sacrifise
Redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King

God of my all I've surrenderred
My hear finds its rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for You has grown

Nothing matters when You're here with me
In the end just to hear You say "well done"
Bowing before Your throne

Forever and ever
Jesus You alone in glory reign
Forever and ever
With you I walk this narrow way