getting old is not the worst thing u can ever imagine

bergerak dari sindrom selasa ga ada kerjaan feel so weird.....
we had dinner today.. 4 memberz of ELG cabang blessed :)
yah tadinya seh mo ngomongin wedding Chairlady..
tapi in the end jadi ngomongin Youth....and lastly... ngomongin masa depan..

Dian bilang : sadarkah kita akan terpisah satu dan lain benua...or at least territory ....
Fenny ikut Edo, Widiya ikut John, Jojo ke Hongkong, Lydia ke HongHong, tersisalah daku and Dian for the meanwhile ... yg mgkn jg ke Surabaya :P
lucu yah hidup....a time to meet .... is always followed by a time for farewell bid....

and when I read widiya's blog (after so long belon check).... she ask the question..
wonder will we ever be juz like Carrie and da gank...
Frenz for life 15 years from now... wahaha...sulitz jg...

en dari dinner tadi...at least I know that :
1> wad I felt laz Sunday... is not anomaly :) It's the general atmosphere...Phew..
Gua pikir gua over sensi lagi ....biasa ... melan :)

2> We need to extend a new youth service.. keluarga muda namanya :D HAHAHAHH :p .... atau ELG Service...*yg ini seh ide gilee ajeee*

3> yah...kita ini pd dasarnya dah harus terima kenyataan en biasain diri denger kata "keluarga muda"..."cabenya si jeng itu enak"...." bawang di geylang lebih garing"......"harga ayam naik...pamperz baby jg naik"........ "citigroup shares drop...sale sale.. quick buy"

ketimbang dengerin "eh Zara sale... 50% loh"......." nonton apa neh weekend ini ?"..... " CK Tangs rabu ini 12 % rebate bok..."........."Si itu lagi deket sama siapa ? Oh yah.. kok bisa? kayaknya ga cocok banget "

4> Yet...along with that... I also find out that we are all...sakit kuping denger kata " keluarga muda" ..hahahha...sounds so scarry :P

5> In vitro is still a better option than adoption. Adoption is still a better option then angkat anak asuh....

6> Lydia Sista itu beneran type B sejati..... The Queen of B_ _ _ (u guess) .....*maap Lyd....hohohoho* we will definitely make a movie called : my gf is type B on her wedding day :)

so... a good dinner it is :) sering2 ketemuannya...
maybe next time we'll have a chance to eat : RICCIOTI :) *masih ngotot*

bombie {=^o^=}

a time for every purpose under heaven

Gua agak heran napa blog David terasa kayak our time in TLG is really up :P
hehehehe :P.... jadi ke-impact :P *hayoh Vid... !!!...mengalir neh urapan*

Coz I've been asking God.....somehow...many time this year..
Each time I got lost... I ask Him again...
Are You sure I'm supposed to still be here Lord ?

Yah Dia pasti tau dan yakin lah yah :)
Coz He holds my future... tp yah ... gua off course frustasi coz the question keeps coming back :P
The answer is always on the spot... : stay !!!

But I cannot stop but wonder..
apa ini sindrom normal yg dialami Ko Omar jg dan lain2nya dulu...
atau emang beneran soon my time will be over..
harus siap2 dong kl soon to be over ?

Coz as I stack on my 6 months upfront...
Kerasa .... this got to end one day......
not too fast not too soon...8 taon di Youth bok :P
yet when my time is up... kok kerasa cepet banget yah ?

anyway:... till the answer is changed to move.... I shall stay.....
coz He still tell me to stay.....many ... many... and many times.....

maybe for my one last dream...
maybe to pull me back from my way that may lead me out of His way...
maybe...to correct my final judgement... final conclusion... grand finale...
of my first chapter of ministry...
perhaps... for something that I wish to be fulfilled too: to leave a legacy for the Last Generation
b4 my time is up.....

one last dream... to revive this all..

I'm still here anak2ku... sampe dijemput babe....
atau dijemput Prince Charming..
Naik lexus ke condo deket Plaza Sing..
HAHHHAHHAHAHA :p
*one last dream*...

btw : the last one is a joke :P

bombie {=^o^=}

about friendship, relationship, marriage and love

I have this in mind long time ago...
But off course due to my wonderful internet...
I cannot post it till now :P

anyway: I was looking at my boss that day
and I got down to a point that I have to admit...
He indeed is a changed man...ever since he got married and even more..
when he has kid :P

In this case he change to a better person ....so much better that than who he was ...
he go home early coz : melissa... quick quick..I want to play with my daughter
during work.. he kept saying : melissa.. must help me make money for my daughter...
don be like that melissa.... my daughter and wife eat wad later ?
He told me he need to go buy her daughter shoes..ask me w/ the shoe at the shop opposite is good..... I give up....I have no daughter boss... i don noe this things :D
When he tell me he need to buy mittens.. go baby's department... I cant stop but laughing...
he... at baby's department ?!?!?!... ahhahahaha :P
and he threaten me : don laugh melissa...I noe this things much better than u okay

I guess it's just unbelievable for me the fact that he change to that extend.
This man... my boss..
the same guy that was still flirting w/ girl at marketing department...the hot kampong blonde...just like 2-3 mths before his wedding :P
the one who always play at arcade till early morning 5 am every weekends....
who...sometimes I feel.. took his wife too much for granted :P

I use to think that his gf... who is now his wife....who happen to be the prettiest girl at her bank last time..... is so "dao mei" *unlucky in chinese word*
why in da world she end up with him ? having a relationship for almost 4 years some more...
and not only that she knew all along that he still flirt around when he's w/ her....
she withstand all that... hanging faithful to him... and finally..end up marrying him..
I would have broken up with this kind of man longgggggggggg timeeeeeeeeeeeee before :P
it's just my principal....

but who knows what will happen in the end? He is a changed man now...
he always say that he is a good man......his wife is very lucky to have him as husband... he will not go wrong... and I use to put 100% denial on all that :P no way boss....no way ...:P

I got it wrong....
en I have to say I admire his wife...
My boss did say : his wife knew of what he is capable of..
she knew that he flirts around...but he will not take anyone else to be his wife other than her...
he always said that... she had confidence in him....

even when he did his last "flirting" session with marketing girl....
I ask him ...did your girlfriend (then) noe all bout this ? How would she feel ? how can u be so cruel ?
he said his wife knew....and she still stand there into the marriage..
I salute her courage and trust in love..... loose to her :)

it's not easy...
I always believe one should be really2 careful before marriage..
coz u have a chance to cut off a lifetime misery before that ....
U just have to be suspicious...and no..u don need to put faith and confidence in ur partner before marriage
well maybe half :) .....just nice enough to make it work...

but once u are in the marriage...
U just have to keep the faith... and keep it very tightly.. that ur spouse wont leave u
.. u must close ur eyes.. ears and every of ur senses :P just believe... even if things gone wrong...
faith and trust is the only subtance left to make your marriage works..

well i see now how faith has brought my boss' wife to her happiness statement now
I bet she's happy enough.. knowing that this husband of her... really adores her and her daughter... love change him ? or his daughter change him... i don noe ... haha

anyway on relationship... and frenship...
I just found out recently... there are so many ppl around me... just get attached
Yumiko, Charles, Handoko :P

Yumiko is particularly an interesting story to be told....
she just got attached with her best friend of 7 years..
funny how we always believe that she will end up with him..
and we always ask....why not just him ? if u need to be together w/ someone close enough..
why not w/ this someone that u have been sharing most of your life story with ?

normal: no chemistry..juz frens... the bestest frens of life.. and this that and all those...
and so just to proof our point..they end up together...
and she felt that it was just 70% rational and 30% romance....
thus she felt weird....where's those magical moment and feeling that "Hey..I'm attached u noe ?"
that rosy feeling of a girl in love...

I told her it's normal....it's no longer puppy love ...
well at least that's what they say...
come on...we are at our late twenties goodness sake..
maybe ....getting attached is just making all da sense of our age :P
without that magical feeling....we'll still be attached in the end

very happy for her anyway... he's a nice guy :)
I am convinced to say that :P heh :P
lesson to be learn for you guys and girls : never underestimate the power of frenship..
you'll never know where it will lead u...
romance is one of the way :P... good if it's what you wish for..
becareful if it's what you are avoiding from...

then on marriage...
I met my client that day... quite close to her..
everytime I met her...we always talk for the longest time...
this time around.. she talk about her marriage...

amazingly.... she told me how not easy it is to hang on...
if she has a choice...she will let all this go..
just waiting for the day that all her kids can be independent..
then she have nothing more to expect.... she want to quit..

when I hear her on what has happened..
indeed it's not easy for her..
he has not been the best option available...
yet she chose him... and she got to stand to her choices till the end..

best of all...all her sacrifises are for her children..
but what the child says is that :
I don remember ur kindness to me...
I remembered when u hit me.....when u treated me badly..
I remembered all that.... but I don remember ur kindness to me..

how painfull....goodness
I can't believe it myself... she's ur mom... doing her best giving her life for her children...
yet ....look at what she got ?
I did not grow up watching her love... but I can witness her sacrifise...even till today :P ...

marriage... is really not an easy subject to digest...
for her will power to hang on till today... salute Tante :)
I pray I may have the same strength as you...
and be a faithful wife juz as you have been :)

I was walking with Devi that day...
we discuss how we tend to see a person's true color when we are no longer in love with them..
we also discuss how certain ppl have such a high standard and principle on their dream love....
and throw all that standard and principle far far away when they start to fall in love :P

Devi then asked ?
what happen to thos that stand by the principle ce ?
well...they end up like me Dev...still single till today ... HAHHAHAH :p
hanging too tightly to these things call principles......
closing the door of opportunity on the other site...when things don fall to our principle..
when principle...at the end of the day... are just principles...
might not be truth...other that just a standing point of view...

I don say u should not follow me and my principle standing life....
for I can witness that I am more than happy to have live my life standing on my principle..
rather than living not by that...and regret it a zillion times

but I do want you not to worship ur principle..
they can fall anytime.... just like mine did :P
and when that happen ...... u might be shattered ...
juz like me....

Thank God He is good...
I am re-shape into a perfect cutting all over..
given a second chance to believe.... hope....keep the faith..

in a perfect love, marriage, relationship and frenship...
the way He creates them
the way He wants them to be
perfect just like Him
in our daily life to be

bombie {=^o^=}

half year summary

After so long being out of virtual world..
hoho...akhirnya internet bener juga... Puji Tuhan :)

So since my last post... many indeed have taken place
Simply said.. my life has taken it's sharpest turn...ever....since my grad day in 2003.
and all the changes has been fully summarised in this month.... mid 2008
june 30th today... half a year has gone by...

I start this year with living Bishan
Small drawer on my left...
Sitting in front of Patricia...
Being a deputy sub unit head....
Hope and fear of a chance of love....

Here I am....living in Purple line
Small drawer on my right
Facing Connie everyday
Sub Unit head under my responsibility
A chance of love ? Can't be more indifferrent...coz nothing more to loose :)
have learned to let go......have step on the courage to embrace the risk of taking a chance of love

Yups...juz like what He said to me..
Which I only come to realise when I called my parents that day..
All this is a mark of the end of my first eight years in Singapore
June 26' 2008 --> happy anniversary to bombie's landing in this land of merlion
never regret this decision :)
a 19 year old girl drawing her dreams then
a 27 year old woman living closer to achieving her dreams now..

This year bible camp song is just so true .... all things are gonna be new this year....
and it confirms me the fact the my early stage of struggles in NUS seems coming back lately :P
as if I'm stepping into a new 8 years ....start from my early NUS days.....
and so I am falling down again.... back to my first love...... my early longings of Him

It has been a great 8 years... It will be too for the next :)
and I am open to changes...whichever way He is carrying me ...
I shall lean on His wings....
Flying high with my King

June 30.2008
Serangoon 418
bie {=^o^=}

Enemies beware

What I face lately has taken up most of mind...
Some of you have known....or even heard it many times...

My world began to pause when all that happened few weeks ago...
In my heart I wish for the world to pause together with me
Coz I can't catch up when I was forcibly made to pause....

But the world never pause
like all that we've heard, said, and happened
Life indeed...always goes on

It feel so much easier telling that to a friend in distress
Of loosing bf/gf, loosing parents, failed exams, stress at work, sickness to battle, financial distress... or anything else
Coz for all the problems I have faced before...it was not that hard for me to move on previously... It took most of the time just a 30% determination.... and 70% action......and here I am.. moving on...

But not this time...
To sum up, this is way much much much tougher quadrupled
and I couldn't get my mind out of it
secretly... I really wish the world can slow down for awhile...
what happen instead : it accellerates..
How many of you realize... this is ...end of May my friend... 5 months of 2008 passed...
and probably my toughest May in my life.. especially with lots of surprises..

Those you depend and defend the most...
Can surprise you with some unthinkable action..
that ....hurts....
Those you don even count on as close friends
May come to your rescue..
that's....very sweet

So there I was thinking so much of wad has happened and how to solve it..wad to do next....and gazillion question marks....
So much thinking that I made lots of mistakes at work when it demands my best currently....
The unplugged that everyone enjoyed.....something I truly anticipated..... was just another day passed by for me......my mind wasn't even there...
I'm absorbed....I juz couldn't be bothered... sometimes it's hard to breathe
tears...are dried up.....
this is bad.... so bad till MC has to arrive in my life...

And my days..
were down..and up....and down..and up...
so is my health.....

Yesterday I was up...
and this morning I was down...
I think negatively..
I didn't fight..
I gave up
I play weak...

So down till I get to a point...
That this cannot last forever...
Time waits for none...
and mostly.. never waited for me..

So I made up my mind..
since nothing has happened yet..
and I could not portray what will happen
I juz have to stand back to the faith that my God is taking control over this..

I have hope for the worst to happen..
But I won't now...
I will hope for the best... the miracle..the magic.... that my God could ever bring me...
I will work with this faith to allow more space for Him to work in my crisis...
I'm presenting Him ... full space...
I have decided...that I want to be His partner in facing these....
and that is ....by standing on my faith...

most of you seen me as a strong woman.. and get shock/confuse to find out how weak I am..
but since you have portrayed as a strong woman...
I might as well got real into the portrayal....

I will be strong.. in Him who strengthen me...
for well indeed I am weak....and my strength comes from one and only Lord...
I won't sit around...and gave up without a good fight...

Feel my fists you enemy... and behold...fear my God
for He is great and greatly to be praised :)
the world tremble at His voice and bow down before His presence
who are we to question at the wonderous way in His creation ?

Beware......my God is with me...
I will allow Him .... to work through me

soon after:
the power of healing start to fall
Grace of faith and strength seeps deep within me

more.... and more... and more Lord :)
I am ready

bombie {=^o^=}
Psalm 37:31- done

ga kuat

Lord...
I cant take any of this anymore...
this is much much way tougher than anything I have ever cross over...
I cant face any of this anymore Father God...

Please.......calm my soul... by my answer.....
my refuge....tower of strength...

for this fear is beyond my limit....
than those I have ever swallowed
it's bitter pill bites me
leaving me shadowed...

Show Your say...
shall come what may
I wont be in dismay
Walking in Your way....

Here in this corner is my heart
full of doubts and thoughts aside
wondering how long more will it last
how will You, bring me to survive this blast ...
what will I learn from all this that's happening so fast ?

bie {=^o^=}

in Jesus name

In Jesus name..
This sentence has never been as soothing as ever.. than that very fateful nite.

2.45 AM, Bishan Street 13th, May 10' 08, in front of my PC
I just came back from Bishan Police Station..
tired, lost, messed up, confused, suspicious, fearful, resentful, relieved at the same time, totally mixed up

it happened all so fast...
and we're lost...how gullible can we be ?
wad was wrong with me earlier ?
that's not my usual style...
a banker for goodness sake ?

I don't know..
I'm lost... cant cry...cant tear...
confused....fully

but it all rest : in HIS name...I rest...
In HIS mighty love...I surrender...
In HIS protection...I'll stay :)

Only by Your supernatural power I may have this life :)
This battle is Yours Lord....I'm out of this field...

and in JESUS mighty name...
I lay this case to Your Hand
God my CEO
God my lawyer
God my lover
God my defender
God my protecter
God my justice
God of righteousness
God of mercy

God my everything...
Amen

bombie {=^o^=}

none

actually...
none :P

don need to read my mind
don ever think of trying...

bombie {=^o^=}

1st time ever

For the first time ever
I finally speak in deep honesty

Last Saturday when I say that there's no one in my heart right at this moment
to the normal extended ELG memberz (which include ELG's Gentlements league)
who happen to bomb everyone that came to the annual meeting the day
I come to realize that I'm speaking it for real
Only after I finish the whole sentence....
and all da way till I reach home...

I admit
I've lied... many times in the past... when I say none.....
it emerge out of my insecurities....

Up to you
to believe it or not this time round

But I know it's for real now..and it shocks me too..
on how good it feels to speak so honestly honest :)
nothing to cover.... none to say :)

the truth.....has set me free :) hihihihi :)

bombie {=^o^=}








but this time around

Then the Lord answer me

Job 38 : 1-7
1> Then The Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said :
2> "Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? "
3> Now prepare yourself like a man:
I will question you, and you shall answer Me.
4> Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth ?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5> Who determined its measuremnts ? Surely you know !
Or who stretched the line upon it ?
6> To what were its foundation fastened ?
Or who laid its cornerstone.
7> When the morning stars sang together,
And all the sons of God shouted for joy ?


Job 40 : 1-9
Moreover the Lord Answered Job, and said :
2> " Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him ?
He who rebukes God, let him answer it"

3> Then Job answered the Lord and said :
4> " Behold I am vile, what shall I answer You ?
I lay my hand over my mouth.
5> Once I have spoken but I will not answer:
Yes, twice, but I will proceed no further."

6> The the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said:
7> Now prepare yourself like a man: I will question you and you shall answer Me:
8> " Would you indeed annul My judgement ?
Would you condemn Me that you may be justified ?
9> Have you an arm like God ?
Or can you thunder with a voice like His ?

Job 42 : 1-6
Then Job answered the Lord and said:
2> " I know that You can do everything.
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
3> You asked, ' Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?"
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4> Listen, please, and let me speak:
You said, ' I will question you, and you shall answer Me.'

5> " I have heard of You by hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You.
6> Therefore I abhor myself,
And repent in dust and ashes. "