nope lembar gocengan sama dengan cetiao

so .... gua bakal ke BALIIIIII this weekend...

phew phew phew...

I am.. EXCITED !! uhuy !!!

jadi buat persiapan ke Bali ini... tertulis di agenda gua kl gua harus beli Rupiah...

jadilah gua ngantri tadi siang beli rupiah..

btw : ratenya lagi fantastic sodara2 :) ahoehaoe :) 1 SGD = 6900 Rupiah

so gua mo beli se-jut rup aja buat bawa ke Bali...

bayar 145 Sing... huah terharu gua :P

setelah ngantri sekian lama (setengah jam), sampe lah giliran gua...

orang2 di depan tuker sampe ceceng sing, go ceng sing dollar..

gua.... pek go :P... haha :P *small fry*

en mungkin gara2 itulah... gua dikasih... tebak sodara2..

gua dikasih 200 LEMBAR GOCENGAN !!

haih... lemesh gua...

cuman bawa cetiao doang...gua perlu amplop ke Bali... astagaa....

dgn muka yg kurang percaya, shock, mashgyul, en lemesh....

gua jalan balik ke kantor..

gimana caranya bawa 200 lembar gocengan ke baliiiii sodara2 ??? haih si mas teh nyusain atuh ...

bombie {=^o^=}

Gaga Rio

You guys know who she is. Yup she's Gaga...

What I want you to know is ...or if you have knew it : she's wearing a dress designed by an INDONESIAN ... name : Tex Saverio. More known as Rio (kayak pelem2 si burung yg lg terkenal itu)

and another thing that I want to let you know is : I have heard, or knew about this Tex Saverio from last year .... why ?

and this is the OMG part :

HE'S MY SISTER WEDDING GOWN DESIGNER !!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE'S MY SISTER HIGH SCHOOL MATE (SMAK 1)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I've been to his house, seen his gigantic humongous over the top design that he displayed, been impressed by a dress that's more like for Ice Queen in Narnia to wear, been frightened on how my sis wedding gown gonna look like if it's designed by him...... but it has never....ever .....crossed my mind kl dia bakal di pick sama Gaga for Harper Bazar's issue..... even E NEWS (USA) is talking about her shot in Bazar's (tapi ga kasih tau sapa designernya)....

selamat dah De... you've spotted a potential world class designer .... salute!!

*I promise from now on buat berenti protes sama harga gown nya dede gua yg seroket......... instead : Thank God udah deal taon lalu.... kl sekarang... berapa pul jeti jadinye ? * hohoohohoo

heee hee.... jd sedikit bangga neh sama designer indo :P heheheeee

bombie {=^o^=}

nyang lagi terharu...

tp tetep ga bakal bikin sama Tex this time around ...hahaha... ntar keluarnya drama lagi...ruephuot :P

hororrrrr

teman teman

teman teman...

TEMAN TEMANNN !!!!

udah Aprilllllllllllll

dan gua msh ga tau mo nulis apa di blog ini... haih ?!

ya udah gua ceritain cerita horror aja lah yah, seputar seputar Singapore

Minggu lalu gua denger cerita on a client yg telepon minta di block accountnya. Kenapa ? Karena that Friday, dia ambil uang di atm kita. Selesai dia ambil, balik badan, to his horror : ada orang yg dengan ga tau malunya dan pedenya en ga ada sorry sorrynya record pake camera his Pin number en account balance.

Itu orang udah ga tau diri, ga kabur pula. Sang client pun kaget, ngomel.. and according to his own word : he got abusive to that cameraman kurang ajar.

Gua cuman denger ceritanya dari another colleague so I dont know what happen next. I'm just shock enough !! GILAAA ...yg kyk gini kejadian di Singapore, while di Indo lagi heboh sama si Melinda Dee, tante silikon yg konon full plastic surgery en bawa lari duit orang, plush heboh kematian sekjen partai gara2 debt collector.

On the other part of the world, gua baca di kompas.com, ga tau dari twitter sapa, ini another cerita horor bego kl gua bilang.

So konon ada satu orang fotomodel Brazil yg foto sama uler Cobra yg cukup ganas. Konon lagi si model ini suka gaya2 'panas'. Entah napa si model pengen bikin si uler 'panas' juga. Ga tau dah motivasi dia apa... yg pasti dia cium2 si uler ...sampe pake acara jilet si ular apa gimana gua ga lupa kompas ngomong apa..

eh, beneran si uler jadi panas : dia patok breast tuh cewek....

so what happen next ? u probably guess that the model died..... uh uh....wrong

yg meninggal : si uler !!! why ? coz si uler kena patok silikon yg implanted di breast tuh cewek en dia kena racun silikonnya, lalu E O : keok .... muatek..

hebat silikon !! ato hebat tuh model ? haha..whatever it is... buat gua ini amazing stories...even more amazing that kompas masukin cerita ginian..... jreng !!

yah sekian cerita2 horor yg gua tau...

banyak cerita 'horor' lain seputar kawinan since di sekitar gua yg married ada 3: El, cousin gua, dede gua..

but well..those stories are for me to keep...

as are other stories I have kept in all wedding I've helped... well...fact is : there will always be that 'lil grumbling moment' between groom & bride to be due to the stress level of wedding preparation. That's perfectly normal...

so buat yg udah mo married : just embrace it...it's the complete package of the marriage deal anyway :)

and lastly from me : SELAMAT BERJUANG !!! FIGHTING !!! ALL THE BEST !!!

hauheuahue :)

bombie {=^o^=}

the beginning of a new decade

Okay

Jadi ulang taon gua minggu lalu went like this:

Kamis March 24:

never thot of this. Tp my colleague had a surprise for me.

So intinya gua dibawa ke lunch sama my usual lunch partner Alice. Jadi gua ga suspect apa2 waktu mo nge lunch, even though tumben2an dia mo makan Pasta di Riccotti bareng gua. Biasanya mah susah bener ajak dia makan bule di tempat yg agak sedikit lebih mahal just for lunch only seh.

En wkt nyari tempat duduk, gua heran napa dia belok ke dalem padahal di luar banyak seats. Taunya pas gua ikutan belok, masuk ke dalem, a total of 4 friends have waited for me there. They are a mixed of my closest colleagues throughout my 7 years, yg masih lasted in our team..

It was quite a nice surprise, the fact that susah buat gua to imagine gathering them altogether buat duduk & makan bareng. Each are close to me, tapi kl digabung, well.. ga smua cocok lah. So to see them gather together...yah.. seneng lah yah :P

Then Jumat March 25

I was on leave. So I decided for lil journey to the west : homey NUS. Took train to harborfront, naek 143 dari sana, berenti di Fong Seng, beli Ice Milo, passed by Eusoff hall, jalan towards Arts from LT 13, all the way ke Arts canteen yg udah kena Reno, langsung head straight to laksa stall and order as much as I want (9 Item laksa with rice) for just : guess !! 2.7 Dollar !!

Gilee kan murahnya. Abis makan, jalan2 along Arts fac towards Central Library. Sepanjang jalan lg ada bazaar so iseng2 gua beli stuffs that you cant find to be so cheap outside.

Then I landed at CO-OP :) And beli lagi barang2 yg gua suka dari CO-OP: Food :) hahahha :) And then I head home to prepare dinner :) Friday nite, sacred society gather di rumah gua for eat pray love session.

and pass midnite : gua minta sama membersnya especially not to buy cake. Just pray for me will do karena gua akan masuk denial mode kl gua udah.....well .. u noe lah berapa :P

Saturday March 26

The deadline. Wake up, gua change my mind from going to message appointment jam 10.30 yg ga bisa gua datengin on time. Gua cancel appointment gua, terus gua decide to catch a movie to NEX at 10.45 AM. Kosong :) happy :)

I watched Morning Glory. Review says it's not good. But, I cried and I enjoyed the movie so much :) Coz: it filmed in New York, and I love TV. So a movie about TV business is definitely interesting :) Lesson learnt : review doesn't always count as a good gauge.

Selesai nonton gua lanjut ke Kenko Spa di Esplanade. Did a full treatment that tooks 2.5 hours. By 5, gua selesai feeling fresh and rejuvenated.

Then..gua bingung mo kemana :) Yg pasti gua mo ke Orchard. So gua harus naek bus dong dari Esplanade? nah di saat seperti itulah, fate brought me back to where I should be : ohgs !!

bus 36 berenti di depan mata gua at esplanade bus stop exactly when I stepped into it. Sampe di dhobby ghout, tiba2 naeklah Mooya yg nyapa gua kenceng2 : Ci...Happy Birthday !!

Satu bus ngeliat..... sutralah =P ahhahaha :P

Then gua denger dr Mooya kl hari itu yg khotbah : Chris Long. Wuih, sutralah. Destiny brought me to OHGS for a good time. Coz rencana awalnya gua ga bakalan visit OHGS at all.

Sampe di OHGS, ketemu Gill, Raimond, Ieie, Menthol, de el el yg nyalamin gua.

Terus cabut ke Tony Romas sebrangnya OHGS for a jolly good time with my family :) Dinner, lalu pulang.

There... how I spent a good 2 days of celebracion.

Another surprise on Sunday : a gift from TLG Danz-ers

Thanks Girls... Pasti gua pake soon hadiahnya en show it to you girls :) ahueauhe

yup..

i'm 30

bombie {=^o^=}

new decade

Finally....

I am..

the new 20 !!!!

HUH !!! TLGers beat that !! there's a new teenage girl in town !!! me !!!

hahahhaha :)

*denial mode*

more on the celebration...tomorrow

bombie {=^o^=}

everything random under the sun

last wk my colleague datengin gua, then dia nanya : hey, do you wanna try Novy's diet ? follow this instruction : morning eat..... (blah blah blah I cant remember?)

lil background : temen gua ini have the same issue just like me : weight issue {''--__--''}

Then dia continue jelasin, this one is a good one u see, it will help your stomach to adjust to eat lesser when you finish the programme so you wont put on back.

Straight away gua bilang ke dia : no it's okay, I dont want. This thing wont work on me.

Temen gua : why ? why ? how come wont work on you ?

No lah. I know how I can loose weight. Discipline. The thing about those drinks is I will definitely gain back the weight. At this age I know my body well enough. I accept the fact that I can never be that skinny or even be categorized under normal weight. If I wanna loose weight, I need motivation, I need hard work. The only way is by cutting food and exercise. I don't want to waste money to buy something that's not good for my body and end up with side effect.

Anyway : I love food too much :P My stomach will never be that small that I can eat like hamster...I choose to be discipline when I need to be lah...

colleague gua disana, selama gua jelasin itu, masih nanya : why ? why ? why not ? give it a try lah .... but at the end dia diem, mungkin gara2 gua kekeuh ga perduli semua diet advise dia itu :P hahahhah :)

yah iyah lah: 30 taon gua idup, never once I am categorized normal weight. Harusnya gua cukup pinter buat tau kl emang this is how I'm supposed to be, not small. This is how my body given by God above : blood type A --> no meat is good for us. Only vegie.

Loosing weight will always be a constant issue for the rest of my life. And I ... with a heavy sigh, accept this fact that I need to work hard for this matter.

And I'm not alone. I bet 90 % women ever lived just face the same matter.

Dulu gua ngiri sama cewek2 yg makan segudang tapi ga gendut2..... or malah makin kurus...

But now I realize kl harus milih antara : stuffing extra food that you dont feel like eating to stopping your mouth from eating something you body don't need to eat, to be on ideal weight & health, I choose #2. Ga kebayang enegnya kl harus terus makan when u dont feel like it.

And at the end: God is good & fair.

Then on another issue :

Kemaren ke office, gua pake baju yg udah lama ga gua pake. I was sort of wondering napa gua ga pake baju itu when I kind of like that dress . Ada close to 4 years when I last wear that dress. Konon, baju gitu harusnya udah ga di my wardrobe.

Waktu gua coba, then inget gua ......napa gua ga demen tuh baju

or for that very matter : baju2 buatan Asia yg dibuat tanpa mempertimbangkan ukuran lingkar bossom nya cewek.

Sesek gua make itu baju. Everything else fits perfectly, only the bossom part.

It's like ga make sense dong kl loe bikin baju ukuran XS - XL, tapi di bagian bossomnya sama aja gedenya ? Kayak ga diconsider gitu kl girls with bigger bodies tend to wear ukuran b ke atas ? Makanya ada ukuran dari a sampe triple d or g for bule ?

ini pukul rata ukuran a aja semua. Cewek kl kurusan mana2 jg, ukuran dadanya yg pertama turun. Mbok yah diconsider gitu potongan bossomnya...

Nah kl baju asia tend to ga menghormati bagian dada cewek, makanya ditindas abis alias kata digencet, baju europe on the other hand, tend to glorify bagian itu. Sampe ukuran XS juga bisa dimasukin ukuran melon.

Speaking of which : I love american jeans. They flatter you and they consider your size considerably.

Where else can you find skinny jeans that make not skinny people like me, dont look that not skinny ?

Orang kl bodynya kayak gua pake skinny jeans, itu jadinya gua kayak sosis bulet jelek. It's advised, even my celebrity stylist : for us to wear bell bottom. So I swear off skinny jeans when it's first trending. Till I find one great pair in Macy's LA. It was a gamble at first. But turns out that ppl think the jeans is great too. And then I found another even better pair last year.

Catet ini merek yah : American Eagle outfitters !! They have some very2 good jeans, that's cheaper than Levis. You may find them di Primm Vegas outlet.

one more issue under the sun :

gua terima email hari ini, yg bunyinya kira kira demikian :

1st email : title none.

bomb....

my reply : apaan ini ? napa XXX ?

2nd email : XXX : loe ga mo cari jodoh ?

(inside my mind : !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@#$%^&*^$$%^&&)

my reply :

ada yg loe mo kenalin ke gua ?

3rd email : oh ga ada. Cuman ini, spouse gua lg part time di dating agency. Gua advise just give it a shot.........lblah blah blah....

next conversation is censored !!!

what a random email, which I can proudly tell you that I know well XXX intention from the first and only word in the first email I receive

bomb.....

buat terima email dari xxx di hari terang bolong tanpa any good reason : it must have sth to do with this.

hm.... no comment dah :P

last issue under the sun :

pray for Japan. Think about this year : from the beginning of the year, chaos and unrest seems to be moving all over the world with Australia's flood, Egypt & Libya's unrest, and now Japan tsunami. In just 75 days from beginning of 2011, the world have brought into such a downer.

All in all: lets pray for this end times. It's that near.

bombie {=^o^=}

soon to be thirtie

not that happie

being an oldie

hie hie hie hie :P

Narcis queen

Narcistic has never reached a level that I've just witnessed recently.

Sapa yg narcis, ngaku ? I for one admit kl gua ... ga narcis !! hoho :) really....gua ga boong..beneran deh gua ga narcis ....*percaya dong pls...haoha*

Yah, point is : I have never met a living person as narcissistic as our next object of discussion. Relax, none of you who read this blog knew her....yeah.. she's a she ... not surprised right ?

Jadi gua baru tau wanita ajaib ini di awal February lalu. Gua ga sempet dikenalin langsung, but when I finally sadar keberadaan dia, first impression gua udah agak2.....erm... tet tot....

It wasnt long before gua berkunjung ke singgasana dia, en my jaw drop. Okie, gua suka pajang foto di kantor, tapi bukan sekali gua masuk kantor gua langsung sok majang2 foto anak2 gereja/ NUS. Foto di meja gua sekarang are mostly pics with colleagues yg notobene masih beredar di Bank. En foto2 itu accumulate over 7 years.

Tp wanita aduhai ini baru masuk area kekuasaan kita sekitar awal Feb kemaren, en in a less then 1 week, di singgasananya yg seharusnya kosong and bersih, udah terpajang 5 foto diri dia, bagian kepala alias muka doang, di pigura dengan rapih en sempurna with frames yg super girly en abit couture european style !!!!!! Satu meja penuh kayak museum foto.

Pose dari foto2 close up muka dia itu sama persis satu arah doang, dengan gaya yg agak2 so cakep posing for model, di print cukup gede dengan diameter sekitar 15cm each photo, en.... en.. belon selesai : dari 5 foto itu : 2 di antaranya sama persis !!!!!! cuman di glue di pigura yg beda aja...

Gua berkunjung ke kerajaan baginda ratu en beneran ampir gua shock jatoh!! Bayangin donk, company gua mana2 juga company yg... yah harus cukup serius gitu kan.... prim en proper lah... Eh out of nowhere nongol ini betina, pajang foto yg cukup ga pantes kl gua bilang, serasa kamar tidur sendiri.

Emang ga pernah ada aturan yg bilang meja kerja kita harus bersih clean ga ada apa2. 2 company gua kerja, dua duanya lumayan giving us freedom to deco meja kita.

Waktu gua masih di Starhub ada satu orang yg cinta mati sama starwars. Satu meja udah kayak starwars altar. Dia pajang semua figurine starwars, topeng Darth Vader, posters, VCDs, bekas botol minum yg ada sticker starwarsnya, anything dah.

Di kantor gua sekarang, ada satu meja dari seorang wanita umur 40 ++++ yg fully decorated with : guess what ? Helly Kitty, My melody, and all the girly pinky stuffs !! Dari Hello Kitty keyboard sampe hello kitty calculator, sampe precious moments drawer...etc... u get the idea.

Tapi belon ada sejarah gua ketemu orang yg pajang foto diri, or lebih tepatnya foto studio diri sendiri yg mungkin udah di digitally enhanced, yg pose sedikit sexy naughty clubbing pose gitu (though cuman focuss on face : kebaca lah intense godaan posenya....astaga....) en 5 photos altogether with 2 of the same Pics !!

And guess what ? off course baginda ratu kita langsung shoot to stardom lah sama mejanya yg terkenal itu. Eh, baginda narcis kita bukannya tone down....instead nambahin notoriety dia by wearing baju yg ..... lets just call it ....agak V neck rendah en sometimes tembus pandang sampe baju dalem nya keliatan jelas lah hoh ? In a beautiful french word: pardon me : slutty ...

En no, the queen ga ngerasa risih sama kedatangan orang2 ke meja dia buat cek out "portfolio model foto" di mejanya, nor pandangan orang2 yg ngelirik agak rendah kebawah tiap kali dia pake baju yg agak2 ngegoda kita buat kasih opini..

sering banget kita liat cowok2 salah tingkah after ngeliat baju dia, or ngelirik dua kali sambil melotot kayak mo loncat keluar...after ngeliat V nye si queen bee.

Terus, gua find out kl ternyata Ratu kita punya muka buku aka face book, en rajinnnn banget update status dia sama segala sesuatu yg kita kerjain di kantor kita. One might wonder, kerja ga seh di kantor baginda ?

Somehow gua ngerasa privasi gua di invade sama face book update dia. Kayak orang yg ga kenal gua tapi tau gua sekantor sama dia, bisa tau semua yg kita lakuin di kantor kita. Ga seru banget kan ? I mean tiap kantor kan punya rahasia sendiri..tapi dia kayak lay semua strategi kantor kita gitu. kl ada training lah, ada morning talk lah... semua dingomongin ...

Lebih hebat lagi: kita kan banyak secrecy lah yah di industry kayak kita gini. Eh..dia bukannya jaga secrecy, yg ada dia sering pasang foto yg dia ambil dari kantor kita and taroh di tembok face book nye

Ga jarang di facebooknya dia sering write status yg muji diri sendiri:

salah satu contoh sebagai berikut:

dia pasang satu foto some beauty drink lah...terus di commentnya ditulis :

salah seorang temen gua nanya rahasia kulit gua yg mulus dan bersinar, gua kasih tau mereka minuman inilah rahasia gua.

salah dua contoh sbb :

hari ini di kantor kita ada games tentang: hal2 yg baik mengenal kolega kita. Here are the things yg mereka tulis soal gua : ramah, penuh senyum, antusias, berkulit mulus.

Thank you (nama dept gua). You guys are very friendly. Gua ga percaya dalam waktu deket gini mereka bisa kenal gua gitu baiknya.

haeoaheoahoahehaooahoeahoeahoehaooheo :P

gua yakin kalian jadi penasaran ketemu sama baginda ratu kan ? Ga usah lah :) Karena..... dia itu sound sooo positive di face book... tapi kl kalian liat tampang sehari hari dia... en pembawaan dia... itu kayak beda 180 derajat gitu, so negative, depressed, no smile, unfriendly, stuck up.... beda dah.. fake banget fb nya :P

nah ... for that : mari gua tutup postingan ini with the latest crime yg baginda kita kerjain yg asli gua ga percaya kl gua liat sama mata gua sendiri.

So : baginda ratu kita ini creative jg apparently. Pernah liat kan figurine2 miniature orang gitu, kayak power puff girl, or some girl group, or Gaga/ Madonna ? Gua pernah dapet miniature Emma spice before I left for Singapore.

Jadi baginda ratu kita juga punya satu figurine doll, yg kepala dari dollnya itu udah di pasung dengan ganasnya sama dia, dan diganti bagian kepalanya sama print out foto of her beautiful face... EN... belon selesai : off all, dia pilih figurine yg toketnya mencuat keluar triple D size, wearing a pink bikini..... EN.... dia taroh itu figurine di bagian luar meja dia, making sure people can see them clearly.

Oh yeah : how can we ever miss that ? Esp when you pose it di face book loe juga, saying : Hello (department gua) here I come...

okie.. here you come... and there I will go running away from your scary narcissistic tempire....

Now : any narcist out there, self proclaim or in denial : try to beat our majestic Queen. She's one tough narcist competitor ! you've been warned

astaga astaga..kok bisa ada betina gini ?

bombie {=^o^=}

a very good day

2 minggu lalu marks the beginning of what tough weekends I will have for the upcoming months ahead, for musical preps. A saturday that begins at 10 am is uncool for your tired sleep deprived body that slept at 2.30 AM the nite before...trust me.. en the day did not end early either. It went all the way till past 12 midnite. Kita rayain Alfons early Birthday on Saturday 26 Feb as he is flying jam 6 pagi to USA for biz trip, ninggalin istri tercinta yg .. CONGRATULATIONZ.....lagi hamil 3 bulan *en everyone of you who know it first time from me : say thank u.. haha... erm : kayaknya ga ada:P Jennita beats me to it by blasting it at tweeter ...hoho*

Even though it's a super tiring day, lots of good things happen that day : interesting audicion in the morning, lanjut sama a very good start of TLG Danz ministry serving together with PW team, and then a very good dinner with Jenn & Dasu @ Tony Romas...hey : it's the company that counts !! ...off course having baby back at 30% discount, accompanied by onion rings and salads helps .... hahaha :) and then kita ke Indo Chine, all 15 of us, buat celebrate Alfonso Birthday-o...

Kl gua boleh milih: asli gua pengen banget tidur aja di rumah hari minggunya..if not for the fact that gua udah janji sama Ie Joanne yg lagi dateng dari LA to go to Singapore Expo to CHC service...

Ashtageee.. bangun rasanya susahhh buanget hari minggu itu..... mana kl kita ke CHC ga boleh telat2 banget pula... so I dragged myself to wake up... padahal gua udah usaha berat2an supaya Ieie gua mo ke Bethany since kita bakalan ketemu Ie Vivi yg emang pasti ke BCS.

Tapi Ie Joanne kekeuh ke CHC. So I slip a prayer before arriving there : Lord, udah lama lissa ga ke CHC. Biasanya, after some season away, mereka pasti nyanyi lagu PW baru, making me feel a lil bit not connected... tambah lagi ngantuk gini.... I just dont want to be sleeping away ... and honestly udah lama banget lissa ga ke gereja minggu (sekalian ngaku dosa Lord). I just pray it's worth the sacrifice of waking up so early after a gruelling full activity Saturday.... I pray that it will be a fruitful Sunday

*if God is a human : I bet I would have been punched right at my 2 front teeth for being so calculative and such a complainer. Well thank Him he is God*

And so we arrived there. And let me tell you what you might have already know. No sacrifice offered to the Mighty one, including sacrifice of you sleeps, will ever go wasted. It was such a special day for CHC as it's their last service in Singapore expo (lucky me it's still in Expo en masih ada service hari itu. Gua ga confirm lagi sama anyone, langsung maen dateng aja kesana. Kalo sampe dia orang udah pindah dari Expo....rusuh dah gua dan Ieie gua... ahahha:P pasti heboh kitee). Such an emotional service as they parted with Expo.

As for me, my prayers were all answered. Kita dateng agak telat (jam 10.10 lah masuk)... but they manage to find 2 centre seats for us , 5 baris dari depan. After singing one song they I dont know, they started to sing some song that I know, and it went on all the way. They sang some of my favorite worship song. But I never expected what's coming next, the peak : it was when CHC....who for most of the time I went there, never really sang an old song, sang a very particular old song that's used to be sang many times di BCS 10 taon lalu. A very dear song to me, the one that led me to my road of recovery.

Ga tau kalian inget atau ga but this song has been playing in my head recently :

Thank You for the cross, the mighty cross. That Christ Himself should die for such as us.

And everyday we change into Your image more and more, yes by the cross we are truly be transformed.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise, that You would die for us at such a cost.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise, for the power of the cross.

10 years. It's been 10 years since I first fell in love at the altar.

And at a time when I sometimes feel that my faith is slipping away from my heart, that daily I'm just going further and further away from Xtianity and believing in His divine power, even to the extent that it crossed my mind to step away from a believers life for awhile to maybe experience what is it really living out there without Him, how bad it can be, can a man ever survive ? Can God be just some imaginary friend we all imagining about ? If He is a fair God, why am I having lots of injustice happening around my life ? What have I done wrong ?

Yeah : here it goes, I lay it all down here now. My slipping away faith that I never share or admit to anyone. u always hears me says : I'm fine with God. I always try to look strong on the outside. I know how crushed I am actually on the inside. Truth is : this relationship needs a lot of repair work. The thoughts that cross my mind in January, when I felt depressed and defeated, was even scarier than what I wrote above.

Yet that Sunday, the very fateful sunday when I have to sacrifice my morning sleep and make an inappropriate deal proposal to an all powerful God to help make my service fruitful, He proves He is all the same throughout my up and down 10 years. Faithful, all caring, all loving. Down to the song I needed the most to be sung on that day, He heard. Confirming what He has been confirming weeks before that, and even stronger directly to me : Emmanuel. He's with me. I'm never alone.

To a very hungry soul who sacrifice her sunday rest, and seek for a stable rock of refuge, would a loving God turn away His hands instead of embracing her ? I should have known better right, that He will not turn me down ? I should have known.

All tears, all blessed with a very encouraging message from Pastor Kong about discouragement, all filled with love and assurance, all deeply soaked in fragrance of worship and high on energetic glorious praise, I stepped out from Singapore Expo of CHC's last moment Expo's journey. Thank you my loving God, thank you Pastor Kong.

Rest of the day went with good meals with Ie Joanne at Paradise Inn Ion Orchard and great sumptuous dinner with fellow YRC workers @ Aljunied.

I made a promise this year, that only Him and I know. And with all remaining faith within me that I believe shall be added even more till it overflows: I proclaim that it's not by my power, not my might, but by the spirit of God who starts the work of my faith, who will empower to complete and finish His work of faith within me.

a very very good day indeed.

bombie {=^o^=}

semusim ...eh 3 musim dink...tlah kulalui

Gilee yah

I dont know why gua jadi jarang ngeblog gini ...once a month ..

bisa jadi by the end of the year I will only have 12 posting..

padahal one of my new year resolution was to blog better. Not necessarily more, but better.

That's exactly the sentence I wrote....

okie....nitemare inih kl cuman 12 posting...

when 2011 has been ....really quite an interesting year to begin with

well...yang pasti udah 2 bulan from 2011 abis gitu ajah..... I just cant believe that we've shed 1/6th of the year tanpa berasa anything gitu.. kl foto ...kayak ga kena flash :P haha..

en then....march arrive.. which means : i soon will turn 30 and by the speed that 2011 travels... I actually feel like I am all 30 already....

3 decades ..... 3 X 10 years of breath, heart beat, blink of eyes..

and no....it does not feel like yesterday that I was just born... it does felt like... 30 years ago...HAHA !!

haih (ini lagi sentimentil pindah dekade ceritanya)....though benernya ga sedrama itu seh

hai yah..... so anyway..life goes on.. and 2011 seems like ... going to be another roller coaster up down left right ride..

I had a very dark office moment in January... following a very depressing tough year in 2010. So 2011 does not begin that well, office wise. Which, in my lowest moment, the pressure had dropped to a new depth... so dark and deep that gua felt hopeless... and ....useless.... and no its not my normal low self esteem thought... it's scary kind of blackswanny depressing thought of uselessness... i saw myself as a piece of living junk....

felt like I'm loosing myself... like I don't know me and my beliefs.. my principal.. I'm just turning into someone u wouldn't believe of what wrongdoings I'm capable of

well...that's January...which btw was filled with many wonderful family gatherings since Popo gua en 3 auntie gua dateng ke SG.

so we had countless GREAT dinner, be it home dinner or dine out dinner....countless monopoly, movie & sentosa sightseeing...

how world's apart are those 2 parts of my life.... in January

mungkin gara gara itu gua jadi setengah xin-ting :P ehehheeh :) terlalu tajam bedanya..

and then after much surrendering and ... maybe age is catching up... some calming down here and there....February came...

and Thank God He is faithful... he did not let me spiral down far too long in January....

so February has been great... calmed... better than January, promising, reviving...firming :)

and now I'm fully crossing my fingers, shaping a praying hand....wishing for a good 2011 at the rest of coming months

please ? I'm 30 now... isn't time for the best that's yet to come....to finally come ? or is it always just...yet to come ?

haha...

cepet dateng donk kebahagiaan

bombie {=^o^=}

Trust ?

"But I want you to stay"

A phrase like that is often heard in your favorite movies or TV serials, sometimes real life.
Usually it's mentioned when a couple is almost on the verge of breaking up.

And just like in movies, more often than not, he/ she who is supposed to be leaving choose to stay. Mostly because they still love their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mostly also, because they choose to trust their partner.

The keyword here is : trust.
They choose to put their trust out there one more time, to believe in their partner regardless whatsoever have happened in the past.

How big is the trust now, it depends on how good a human their partner will be after the second chance is given. How big of a change they think their partner can bring.

And we human, being human, sometimes we fail being a good human no matter how much we tried, or calculated, or prepare ourselves to give our best out there. Sometimes, we unknowingly just fail.

I believe he/ she who make the decision to stay in the first place, knew that their trust is in the hands of just a human. It's a bet. Sometimes human triumph, sometimes human fails.

But what if : the person in the question is not human ?
What if the sentence is issued by One, greater than any human ever lived, One that we know far too well, by heart, knowledge or experience : never fail, always right, always win ? One God ?

Shouldn't any human by any sense, choose to stay ???? Right here right now ??? Wherever he / she is at that point of time ? Stay !!

There shouldn't be a question about trust that can go wrong this point of time. Because trust, in Him : has never ever, and never ever will go wrong. Statistically, historically, and spiritually proven. He has never done anything wrong or bad to hurt us. There is no wrong record to consider.

It shouldn't be that hard to trust Him, should it ?

Yes, it should not be hard to trust Him. What hard is : choosing to trust Him. Especially when what He asked, is to stay in the current situation that we definitely not loving. It would have been much easier if the summon is : go and do likewise.

It would have been much easier too if the partner shows the plan and proof that they could make a change from the current situation.

Yeah, it would have been much easier.

But here is life. It never really is that easy.

Even to the very simple core things to decide : to trust or not to trust One God, it's still not easy.

So let me end this just like any other series you've watched :

No decision has been made by the actress for that sentence : "But I want you to stay". The actress being me, and the sentence maker being One God.

Should she, or shouldn't she, stay ?

bombie {=^o^=}