motivation

Don noe why for this couple of months
I felt like I've drawn further from those whom I used to be quiet close with
Good things is I'm drawn nearer to those whom I used to runaway from

But seriously,
I am quite sad with the feel...or facts, that we seems to be throwns distance apart
and to make it worse, I am so lazy to make things better for us...

My mind goes:
I don need you. You need me, that's a fact.
My life goes on without you...so I'll just maintain what we need to maintain

Sometimes.. or most..
I know that I am jealous with you guys
and perhaps out of that jealousy comes a heart that's bittered..
Sometimes your action really hurts me by acting like there's nothing happened
When indeed...something has happened...
Or is it just my sensitive me ?

Hm...no... I heard that you realize, and you realize it well..

So when I'm at my worst..
I always think this way...

Why am I still being nice to you ?
Why I cant seem to bring myself to separate you out of my life ?
Why...of all....it seems that I am not able to hate you ?
When, whenever I see your face...I really am tempted to just behave very badly towards you..

But I found myself .... not doing so...
Coz suddenly...I remember He told me once

that if I am being good to you coz you have been good to me....
then what difference am I of the world ?

But if I'm being good to you despite your changed reaction to me..
perhaps I've slowly begin to learn to understand some lesson out from this world

To love....regardless of what you receive in return
To love....even if what you get back is pain of rejection, condemnation, rude words.
To love....not coz you have loved me first... but because He has loved me long before I am created
To love....not for what benefits me.... but for benefits that I can bless you with

and I remember the source of my strength:
You are the way that truth and the life
We live by Faith and not by Sight
FOR YOU....WE LIVE IT ALL FOR YOU

when that bold underline words is lived in..
what an impact it may bring....

I can love you...
regardless of what...

and in all that I do..
I am reminded of my motivation...
This musical, weddings, dance ministry, work at Citi

In Faith..
I pray I'm serving and doing it all in a right one...
The right motivation..
The ultimate drive

FOR YOU...
WE'RE LIVING IT ALL FOR YOU

bombie {=^o^=}