2008

December... must you come so fast ?
2008....muz u fly like a rocket ?

Well anyway..
I have not been giving lots of thanks in this tough times in 2008, despite the fact that God never fail to provide for me...

And so in this day when I felt a lil bit of "warmth" inside..
As Christmas celebration starts to kick in real...

I'll say grace for Your faitfulness is perfect to me even in times when I'm wavering wondering wandering pondering staggering doubting
Even when my walks seems to be walking towards the down or wrong side..
Not according to Your will
Your love never leaves me..
And it never fails to bring me back...

Dear God... my dear dearest God ......
In many ways that I failed in this 2008...
Forgive me for all my trespasses...
For this pause moment that I've taken too long...
For all the grumble and complaints I delivered
For keeping this unbelief in my colder cooler heart...
For the virus I spread around...
Just simply for doing anything that displeases You...

My dear dearest God above....
I know Christmas is coming..
And I am the reason that You sent Your only son to came and gave His life...
For saving me for all I've done above...and even more things unseen to my eyes, mind, and souls...
For that :I GIVE THANKS TODAY !!!!!! Shall my heart give thanks forever more...

And now for my wish... finally
I dare to wish again.....
feels like a new branch of hope and faith just popped up....
and ... in faith and hope itself....I wish to see them grow stronger each day.....

Warmth this cold and cooler heart my dear God..
Take me, break me, mould me, and make me....
Set my heart on fire again..
In the zeal of Yours...
A passion burnt so real...
A contagious joy roots within...
And an unfailing faith grows within....

Entering 2009: Reborn me in fullness of Yours...
this is new...and it never felt like this before...
I'm all Yours....

Lastly :
For Yours
is Thy kingdom
and the Glory
Forever and ever ..
Amen


thankful & grateful bombie {=^o^=}

Insomniac

It's been a bleeding week in office
They've started the dice rolling
No one is too saved to fail

Wad are the rules of this game now?
I don't know...
How can some player win and some other lost...

At one fort : The best soldiers are shot...
On the other fort: Best ones kept alive...
Wad guideline did her majesty rule ?

Well....It's a game called life...
and it always have to go on...
like wad they said : life has to go on..and on.....
Regardless how bloodless u are

Sometime I wish life can rest for a while
And take a look back on it's ground

I told my frightened mate: we just have to keep our cool....
Keep fighting this fire.... this war...this game.....
I told her so....when in just a moment a while after
I bleed....deeply....while tryin hard to keep my cool

How do you do so when u saw them shot at your very eye?
Picking up their brave story
How do you walk on and keep your cool ?


Rest well my frenz..
You are forgiven....and forever never forgotten...
I wish you a better life....in a new journey to come....
Regret this battle not..... you came out stronger than you could have ever fought...

Someday we'll be there
Out of this game.....
Out of this cruelty...
A land called eternity....

Let's keep the last chance..
Last hope
Final faith...

and yes......life goes on....

bombie {=^o^=}

in remembrence of my Citi collegues
may our path cross again....and I shall see u in a brighter future

Citi

Am I being naive, or once again I'm just the slow girl being left behind from the latest movement and news ?

The talks on Citi....goes on and on...
My citi collegues en frens from far2 away building have been emailing all around
Are we safe ? Are you safe ? How's the mood in Caps xquare?

It does not change much here except that Citi share plunge from 11 to 10 to 6 to 4...
And the nonstop phone line that rings endlessly......questioning Citi's safety...
plus...the so called "bank-run" theory that they teach u only in economics books...
seems like I'm facing the real fact one where ppl start to withdraw all their savings here .....
many....of my collegues... my family.... start to worry on Citi's move...

I'm afraid I'm being naive.....for having this peacefullness...
and kept telling them...and myself...
Citi will juz be all right.... or let's juz say... I will be allright...
We...who put our hopes high to the realm above heaven..will juz be all right...
Regardless the season....

Bless Citi..
Bless this place where You have placed me
Bless my surroundings who are in worry
And allow me to shine out Your glory

Bless this company that You have used to bless me
Where I learn and grow in diversity
Of lessons and theory made into reality
And bring me nearer to a phase of maturity

Bless Citi...

bombie {=^o^=}

GIRL power !!

For most of the time this year..
I have quite lots of bad experience..

Well: biggest one was the home matter..
Then...as some have heard : my office matter...
Plus some other things.....

So those who still believe in SHIO..
Let met tell u : Don't!!! Prediction for Chicken this year is GOOD :P
See wad those prediction gives u :P.. heh :P

I sense it then since end of 2007
2008 will be tough.. indeed it is

But one sweet things emerge in this stormy season of mine.
GIRL power !!!! I'm not referring to my power only..

I'm talking about:
Dinner with Kiko Yap, Hui Ee, Mama Teo
CNY lunch at Hachi2 TA...
The sweet birthday surprise celebrz from ELG:)
The good time we enjoyed so much on Elsa's wedding last June, where 9 girls shared 3 rooms together
Under the stars moments at Danau Toba
ELG's St Regis night..
A night of shopping and makeover where the girls stayed over our serangoon palace where they learn my "mooncake" culture...oh that was real fun :)
And outing with my couzinz and frenz at Indo :) all galz

Above all:
Momentz where we share, break, and strengthen each other in our spiritual journey the way only a girl could understand....

I enjoyed so so so much those "girlie" momentz :)
And I thank God for every minute that I'm born a woman...

bombie {=^o^=}

good news

Remember those days where you heard the stories of your friends who were once some sort of the "hopeless rude no future" kids in school, turned back from their wrongful ways, touched by God, then suddenly have an amazing life in Him ?

Well, I heard lots of that wonderful testimonies when I entered NUS and got born again. There were lots and lots of my "unbelievably-oh-my-they- can-repent-too" true stories. I supposed I'm one of them : HAHA !!

Sadly, not all of them who have turned new leaf, stay the same fresh leafs and re-juvenating. Some decayed along the process, some withered, some gone with the wind. Following that I had a period where I didn't receive that much of this living testimony.

Then came that day, where my cousin who is now at USA, MSN-ed me, asking me how am I doin. I was quite surprised that she MSN-ed me. Well, she's not exactly near my age if not to say she's born in 1988 ? I might be able to get along with TLG members who are that age..but when u know ur cousin..it feels like they are forever "our-super-much-younger-don-think-we-can-ever-get-along" cousin.

Anyway, I've asked her : I heard she had an American boyfriend. So was it still on ? Then she told me it's over. When I ask the reason, she said: He's not the one God prepared for me, and I know someone far better is waiting.

I was again... quite taken aback. Juz like any other Christian who will be careful to ask the sensitive question about faith and beliefs, I asked her.."Oh..you are talking like a true Christian. Are you a believer now ? I heard your University is a good Christian school. That's why ur mom chose it. She feel saved there, though she's not a Christian herself" And then..she told me everything. She has come to know Jesus personaly in USA, she's now a born again Christian, and she's serving God fervently at a Local Church at Pensacola. Now that's what I called TERRIFIC UNEXPECTED GOOD NEWS !!

U see, this cousin of mine, is a die hard boyband loverz. All she can think of was only MTV, backstreet boyz, westlife, blue and gazilion other boybands. Her pin up, poster, magazines, CD, VCD, DVD, albums are everywhere in her room. All she ever worshipped was, internet, technology, grammy, Oscar, westerner kind of life. She so disregarded Asian. Her english proficiency is amazing. Her pronunciation, you can feel as if you are talking with someone who has been living in Britain for the rest of her life. And for most of the time, she only think about boyz, how to be cool and hip in American European style, the music concert of this band, and u name it. At least that's what I always thought bout her which were confirmed by her parents.

So to hear her telling me she's now a believer ? No...it's hard if not impossible to imagine. But so, okie. I take that as a piece of amazing good news, yet somehow some part of me still wanted to test the authenticity of her testimony to me.

Well I need not to wait that long. Today my aunty called me and tell me that she's quite worry to hear that my cousin is considering to instead of completing her current degree in English Literature, she wanted to switch to take complete a degree in School for Misionaries instead, that when she graduate she can be Misionary for God. And WOW again !! This time...I'm shocked.

To give me more on the details, my aunty read for me her email to her. And my cousin email's is really, really, amazing. She's trying to explain her turning point, her meeting with Jesus, her desire, her passion, her love for God, which motivated her to serve Him, to want to surrender all her life for Him, following Him till the rest of her life. This type of love is something that can't be comprehend by my Aunt, and she knew that well. That's why she's trying so hard to explain,how she long for her mother to meet God and that she will be able to understand her too. Hearing her email content, I feel as if hearing an excerpt of my conversation to my Mom few years back. I have said exactly the same thing she wrote.

I am one hundred and ten percent convinced, she's a born again Christian : PRAISE GOD !!!!
I can't wait to meet her and ask her about her ministry in USA, how was it doing, and what God has been doing in her life....

The same question goes to you now: what God has been doing in your life ?

To some people :
It's easy to seek Him in times of trouble.
And forget about Him when things are good.

To some other: it's the other way around.
They worship His blessings.
And left Him when times are bad.

For the rest: well in the end times, love grows cold.

Thus say the bible: in all things, Give Thanks !!
For I am more than just sure to say that God must have done something, and that something is nothing less than Awesomely Great: in your life..and mine..

Wads ur story ? I wanna hear...

bombie {=^o^=}

maybe...juz maybe..

Back!
Oh how I drag myself...

But it helps the fact that I landed on terminal 3...
And the friendly Cab driver who picked me up...

Despite some hiccups..
Qatar airways has been good remedy too:)
Esp: the food :) A good choice indeed

Hopeful now..
Perhaps....there's a ray of hope Singapore ?
Will you welcome me with a brighter Sun and Shinier Sky?
Like the Diamond Castle I watched in Barbie juz today....
*erm.. ya I love watchin barbies cartoon :p..Any problem ?*

Perhaps...
Oh....How I beg....
Please be good to me this season...Singapore :)

bombie {=^o^=}

y ?

I'm not ready to go back..
Juz not yet...

everything built in 4.5 years
fall into pieces in
1 sms, 1 call, and 7 page of a memo

No tears fall
Juz a heart that beats like drum

No finger pointing
Yet I'm too weak to keep this in my hardisk

Guess I'll juz be running on my adrenaline....
Can I not come back?

bombie {=^o^=}

only human

one last line I remembered from my conversation with iot :
"Somebody asks to be a super woman, somebody is...given the chance to be the super woman

Just that..that somebody..is simply not a superwoman...en she will never be.....

then come the song :
I'm not a superwoman...
I'm not that kind of girl...
who u can let go and think that everything is okay
Boy...I'm only human
nanananananna "

bombie {=^o^=}

wazzup

Okie... it's almost 2 mths since the last time this blog is updated...
simple reason: there's only 24 hours in a day....and there's only that much a woman can take....
there's only 1 me..and I can't divide myself not even into 2 parts :P..

So...why was I in silent ? coz sleeping is good to keep u alive...and that's exactly wad I needed to keep me goin:P.. at least from the last day I update the blog....my life has been one roller coaster ride :)

Let's see:
St Regis, Fendo's wedding, Chiang's wedding, A-cheng's wedding, Office madness, Financial market crash, and then......packing to go home :)

Seriously, I need to stop for awhile..and that's exactly wad I am havin right now on my annual 2 weeks nothing-to-do-juz-bumming-around holiday...

But it's kind of differrent this year...usually...annually...sadly.....I always have broken heart to mend..broken dreams to be straightened..broken wish to be taken away...new hopes, vision, and mission to come again......a kind of re-charging time...a time of the year I always look forward for myself into.....a resting time....

But this time..okie: basically, there's no broken heart to begin with...everything seems fine...but... fine it is not....or so it seems the last time I left Singapore...so...let's face it...my battle field is in Singapore:P heh :P a land that has shaped me to a better soul...and vanishes my 8 years in a bling :P.....where have all those days gone ? seriously....I'm an adult now :P I started to see lines on my face :P OH NO !!...

Anyway...For the first time ever.......I miss my broken-hearted moments...for when my heart is broken...I hear Him loudest......and that's exactly why I manage re-charge, re-fuel, re-load every year....moving on from glory to glory..juz like all that have been testified....

Not that I'm asking to be broken hearted again..... But u see ?
I don't want to play safe in this middle field....somehow it's just not me...it's either I'm all in....or all out....You don like the lukewarmers too right Daddy ? Playin safe doesn't bring me alive.....And I dont think I'll survive 2009 if I am not alive.......2008 is tough enough...en each day passed...my hurdle bar is higher and higher...

But I noe I have been playin too much too...too many games on my hands.... I've got to learn to let go....hm :P.....basically...let's summarise this : it's complicated :P and I think I complicate my own matters too anyway...

Coach..I need a big Time Out..before I'm back in field again...playing the next round......living this game called life....running towards the crown of eternity......Book of life....I look for your guidance:)

And Team-mates....hope you will still be there when I'm back in shape:) I promise you....Our best Coach of life will train me...personally...for He is my one..beloved....personal.....God :) and we'll be rockin again :)

niwei:..back to Jakarta...it's nice to meet u again Stefan....one rare coincidence...2 strangers meet....2 strangers greet....and btw ......thanks for a good talk :)

bombie {=^o^=}
re-aligning the game plan :)
11.04.08 Jakarta
my humble room

Gift for you

Dearest my beloved Papa and Mama,
I really pray, for all that we've gone through, the thoughts of double happiness you've had consecutively 2 years in a row every September of the year will bring not only bring smile to your lips but tears in your eyes, warm feeling in your heart, and a touch of God's blessing in your life.

For whatever things that took place, we've finally reached a breathing point to fuel our energy for another decade to come. I hope you realize, it's all worth the price. Your sacrifise, your investment, your tears, your heart, your energy, your life.....none wasted :)

Enjoy and be proud of this double happinesse we present you Pa, Ma. For it is only a gift from the Heavenly above for us :) Congrats once again. I hope to I can be blessed enough to enjoy the same double happiness one day:)

______________________________________________

You are
The last man standing in my longest history
The answer to my lifetime long awaited prayer
The one who holds the key to my future door,
Indeed which door you open matters

In your hands,
Lies lots of my fond memories, I've unknowingly kept so dearly

By all means
You are who you are
My last confidantes
My very dear friend

With all faith
I stand to believe you'll walk the best way for us
Harmoniously according in His way

I'll follow Him too ....anyway :P
He who matters the most
He my most dearly precious

bombie {=^o^=}
9.18.2008

Si lampu lagi

started with my bathroom lamp that was suddenly shut down yesterday's morning..
Catherine finally heard my statement which I have not been saying for a long time :

" Adohh.. puji Tuhan akhirnya beres jg ini lampu. Gua paling bete ganti lampu rumah, and dari dulu gua tau kl gua butuh cowok sebenernya cuman gara gara masalah ganti lampu ini... heh :P paling trauma deh gua"

That....sets her laughing :P

Emang bener gua beneran beteeeeeeeeeee tiap kali mikirin :
Ganti lampu rumah
Benerin internet rumah
Angkat kardus berat kl pindahan....
kl sampe kejadian Bishan NPCC itu terulang kembali...
Keamanan diri gua wkt gua akan ngajuin masalah gua ke court dalam waktu dekat ini...

En everytime I need to do any of the above.. I know I need a man in my life :P
But then...setelah gua cool down... dan berpikir secara jernih..

Actually....all this complaining of changing the light bulb will not even come out if I have a high stools or ladder at home :P Not necessarily a man

All this will not even come out if I am taller en slimmer..harusnya cukup gampang buat ganti si lampu itu :P

Jadi..kesimpulannya ga butuh cowok lg dong ?
erm......I think I'm just reasoning... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH

bombie {=^o^=}

don wanna see you now.....

Youth Conference is... finally over :)
Another good one...... not topping the best one still :) *undignified*
Just glad is over and done ...... I rest my case... have given my best :)

Harris is good btw, as always..
Wad's left from Youth conference is ...my insomniac :P
hooooooooooo though badan capek kayak kena geprak kayu :P

lastly : my wish is to see more of a listener :
For faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
So .. listen ... :)

-----------------------------------------------------------

I always wonder what will happen when I see you again
Though I come to realize that many of my reaction differs depending on the situation
Most of the time.. it came down to one action that I always know I will do
Running away...

Why ?
Coz it hurts so much to see you again ?
Coz of fear on wad will happen next ?
Coz of the phobia you've created whenever your presence is around me ?
That my minds, thoughts, sights....are so much absorbed back into you ?
Why do I run ? .... why am I so frightened ? Why my soul shrinks ?

I don't know.... again en again... I never know..
No answer till date.....what happened and why it happened...
No clear answer till date........
What makes our story written in my history...
No....no anwer yet..

And I will keep running away...everytime we meet....
With a hope that I will never bump into you anytime real soon...
that always leaves me with this strange heart beats... that I dont understand..
added with all the question that follows....

I never doubt u're my first..
One that lasted that Long enough...

Good thing you'll never be my last...
Less the sun rises from the west
And roses turns to blue....

_____________________________________
an excerpt from 2006:

Life....
Like it's never been harder
My why is never answered
And in the end ...
wait... will there be an end ?

No idea...
Full stop perhaps can refresh and helps me
Ya...like it does ?!?!?!

Was it ever wrong for me to save my wounded soul from being broken again ?
A woman of God who does not see the passion of a Prince of Kingdon of heaven in you..
Has a Princess ever suffer this bad from a stranger standing in borderline of heaven and devil's kingdom? One who was a servant leader in King's altar, a Prince of His own?

I hope not...
Let me be the only one...
The only Princess to suffer
of a forbidden desire of her soul that ties her up

One that she chose to pursue
and one that she needs to kill
over and over..and over again

When is never a choice to take
It's a decision one made

Despite the pain
Seems all in vain




_____________________________________________

2008: No labor put in prayer is ever in Vain .....

bombie {=^o^=}

listen

I know I have long let you go
But I wonder nowadays..
Have I really forgiven you ?

..........................................
back from youth conference day 1..
all I'm asking now...

How hard is it...to just listen ?

bombie {=^o^=}

Pardon me

Pardon me
For being naive
For keep believing
Keep dreaming

Pardon me
For not being able to shout out the truth
Though it might be something that's in my heart

Pardon me
For keeping so much wall
To protect what I feel is so important
Though they tell me that I've been fooled

Pardon me
For keep forgiving
and fall on the same trap all over again

Pardon me
For being so easily forgiving
Though might not be that easy in forgetting
On pains brought on the past

Pardon me
For not listening to your advise
Though I know you've come from a reasonable background

Pardon me
For not being so carefull myself
Am I messing up my task as a good stewart ?

Pardon me
For standing firm by the side
Of those who hurt me the most

Pardon me
For not being able to cry my heart
And throw my soul.
The black part....

Pardon me
For not being able to walk in your way
That 100% should fortunates me....
Yet torn me apart too

Pardon me
For not even able to lift
Even just a thought
Of doing them harms

Pardon me
For avoiding conflicts
And acting so calm
When thunder storm are running all around

Pardon me
For being so cautious...
So silly
So unreasonable
So foolish
So fragile
So strict
So stubborn
So immature
So wrong
in the right kind of wrong

Lastly
Totally, please just forgive me
For acting like a fool
As if I'm the mother
Binded by fond of bloodlines
Keep believing, keep having faith, keep fooling myself, keep granting the hundre-th chance

That someday they will change... for the better of themselves
And perhaps most of all, they change to redeem me from the ties that bind me in my own belief and stand...strongly on their side.....
Along the process, I have grown up together too.

Once in a while, those awaited prayers do come true.
And tears of happiness overflows the corner of my eyes...

Precious Ones, I adore you
Highest King, I honor YOU

bombie {=^o^=}

guardian angel

for most of my life...
I' m not the : lucky Luke in town..

But just for a day.....
I feel it's so unbelievable........

I run all the way to Millenia Tower for an urgent instruction to be done...
And it's DONE :) 2 days turnaround time is spectacular *normal 2 weeks*

Second department to be chased after: and again done :) Smoothly...
last news on the day: ST Regis is waiting for us...
I run and hug Cheryl....

Dear Angels...from SLAU, CLOU, RSU, and Mama Teo
and my guardian angels that's overtiming right now ....
Thanks ...for making my day....
Thanks for making my week..
Thanks for making my month...
Thanks for making my 4.5 years memorable

Amy Tan's last day after 35 years with Citi...
Youxiang, Terence, Quek last day with Operations....
All the best people have embarked into new regime..

I suppose unknowingly or clearly ...I had, have been, am....moving on too

bombie {=^o^=}

tentang cinta lagi

Regardless how many times it has befallen someone
A heart broken will always be painful
A hope unfulfilled remains empty
A dream shattered remains threathening

Many tried, but none succeed
To guide how to love and lost
without a drop of hurt

That's how precious love is
To have it will be simply a grace
Losing it will be as good as dying

Bible is true:
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

Dan sebenarnya: mencintai itu memang menyeramkan :P
and sebenernya lagi : emang Cinta itu ga selalu harus memiliki
and lebih bener lagi : cinta emang harus selalu mengalah...

*Nongol Andreas : memang sejak dulu beginilah Cinta.. penderitaan tiada akhir*

Sept 2' 08
bombie {=^o^=}

honestly.......

There're some scene in Devils wears Prada where Andy (Andrea) said to his male collegue (I forgot his name)..... " She's (Miranda: the Devil) not angry with me. I must have done something right"

Let me proclaim: "Someone above must have loved me so much that I'm this blessed"
I like our new FA title: Amazingly Blessed :)

Thrilled, excited, felt like floating in the Air and jumping all around Singapore river....
I want to SCREAM in Joyful noises and gladness :) I want cry till my tears are dry..I want to teleport my whole family that I may sing and dance together....

No wonder I have so much energy last Monday that now my left foot is sprained due to powerfull Body combat on Monday:)

My Father above must have loved me so much for me to receive such an honour :)

bombie {=^o^=}
I WANNA JUMP :)

Your redeeming spot

I found new spot
in the midst of bustling city heart beat
caring for nothing much less than just flashing blings
parade of mixed social paradigm
a piece of land where ignorance is highly praised

just a piece of corner marked my territory
for 30 minutes of Ocean I built
diving deep for anything else other than my already then knowledge
Pearl searched was just hiding under water salt
Pains...for one to dig in wide....

yet there I found a spot..
in quietness and in trust....
scattered acres of episodes
befallen one's journey of life.....

just the tranquility....harmonious silence of anonymity
playing a simphony under Ur galaxy ...above Ur river looking so silky
and Ur milky stars hug me... so soft so windy....

I found Your redeeming spot
and I'll be still.. know You're my hero

bombie {=^o^=}

Beijing 8/8/8

8/8/2008 : Beijing Olympic opens :)
cepet yah waktu berlalu ?

anyway: I did not know channel 5 is showing the Olympic opening Live. I searched the whole day from other option on how to watch it Live... which cable channel, whose home I need to hog to watch it, do they have it on the internet, etc. I googled alot of olympics thing today, esp what time is the official opening of the olympic is

I don't know why... maybe the excitement that....it's Olympic fren !! Once every 4 years !! that's long leeee.... so..when they arrived...better treasure it right ?
But I did not really took notice on previous previous Olympics :P... Maybe coz I'm not a sports person also anyway...

Anyway: I don't need to deny. Why does it matter to me so much this time round ? It's BEIJING !! China :) hehehehehe :P

At 6 PM, I was at Ko Omar's home waiting for Albert and Meily to come for meeting. As I was waiting I watched channel 5. They show the pre-olympic show, displaying china's preparation for the olympic, and all the earlier ceremony that has took place before the official opening ceremony..

Juz looking at the video : really, I don't know why.....my eyes were wet:P ehhehehehehe :P China... is holding the world's sports party :)... WWWWWOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO !!!! I'm enthrilled :P ...

I think those years that my granddad, mom, dad, lau-si have instilled on me, has definitely left an impact regardless how small it is :)

As I watched channel 5 Live with Ko Omar and the rest, I told them that my mom and dad might be raising china flag and give salute right now w/ some teary eyes while watching TV at home. I was actually mocking them. Then as I watched, clapped, enthrilled and smile2 myself while I watched, Ko Omar just said: I think you are truly ur parents daughter. Keep clapping and smile all the way:)

I believe I truly am... JIA YOU ZHONG GUO !!!!

bombie {=^o^=}

understanding human relation and management

Of all the subject one will ever learnt, this subject has emerged as champion of the toughest life learning material every human go through.
Human relation and management. People management. Understanding human and their thoughts.

Haih.....and recently I have been hit hard by these "understanding one person's way of thinking"
From the famous harsh email that I bother to reply, to other people's attitude problem that again, I bother to advise only to be ignored and...insulted back :P

Actually all those will not happen if only I choose to be silent. But silent is always a killer weapon in my eye. One doing wrong will never know what he/ she has done wrong, and has hurt in one way or another. They will just continue to be in the wrong way.

I used to feel that silent is the best weapon as in silence, the other party never realized how badly hurt you are and you can still be in their bestest of friends list and they will not be suspicious of you. Why ? Coz u don fight back. Who don't want fans/ follower ? Then one fine day when u had enough, u can stand up, shout back, and stab the person right at the back :P... hahahaha...the best revenge ever.... evil hoh ?

Thus, as I know how deadly silence can be, I have left silence long time ago as silence sometimes can be golden yet most of the time is just the deadliest weapon around. So I speak up and stand up for wad have been uttered out of my mouth. Most of the time, I speak out of love ...just to happy2 telling ppl my point of view, in case that can help one to avoi doing the same mistakes again, or what might improve their quality of life.

Yet once u start to speak up....most ppl start to retreat back ....they straight away think this is criticism.....who likes to be criticised anyway ? I certainly don't....
For most of the time, I feel that the younger the generation is the tougher it is to speak some sense to their mind. No offence guys....it's understandable. Once, I was young and was the most rebelious one in the family.

But in time, as one grow older, we learn to understand some sense, and matured in one way or another. To the extent that we learn on how criticism can do good to oneself. And that it's true sometimes, those who bother to shout out are the one really bothers about ur existence and well being.

Yet some ppl are just seems to be in their own world...or in denial I say... or.. have they grow up btw ?

Well, understanding ppl got to come from understanding how differrent we are to each other, and how we can live in a way that we do not cross other's way....especially not promoting how differrent we are to each other instead by looking at how similar we are at the end of the day. Just a human being living in the world trying to find way back to home..... heaven I call it.

if only it's that easy....... we will all be in heaven by now...

After all, we are all differrent. Some are good listener, follower, others are good speaker, instructor. Some can give in, some die die will not accept no for answer.

Haih...then all problems start from that again. Seldom I find people who will try to fit in other shoes. Well indeed....it's hard to understand human heart, human's mind, thoughts, will and many more...

Haih.......I still got so much more to learn.....and now that I cannot turn myself back from drowning in this relation problem, I just pray that He will grant me enough patience and wisdom to face these matters.

Haih....I know I've been sighing too much... this just to show how tired I am actually in thinking and learning how to deal with ppl management :P something no one can ever runaway from as it is the essence of Life itself......relationship :P


bombie {=^o^=}
was in fear......
and still is....
thus I draw near.....
to the giver of life's bliss

clumsiness

I did 2 clumsiness today....

and it brought back lots of my memories of clumsiness that I can remember throughout the span of my 27 years (and counting)



When I was 3, I climb up the window and fell, hard! My hit the edge of a table, and it cause a deep cut exactly next to my left eye. I was bleeding badly I guess, coz I totally couldn't remember what happen next. I think it was too traumatising that my brain choose not to remember. Coz I remember the part when I climb up the window. What happen next ? I don't know :) Anyway : my eyes degree is 1250 now.. so pls take extra careful of your children in the future okay ?


Then I used to watch Sound of music. After that I will follow the scene in the sound of music, by going up the stairs in my grandmom's old home...sing2 all the way up...till I finally really fallen asleep at the attic !!

When I was 5/6...again can't remember, I played w/ a metal hook. I stuck the hook into Electricity power plug. Keep pushing it inward, guess what happen next ? Electroduted lah. Since I was just 5, I couldn't scream for help. My body was shaking badly, and I was again, in shock condition, what happen ? My mom saw me, shout and run towards me, pulling me out, and.... guess what ? She also kena electrocuted. So another Auntie run and pull us both. Then, off course like any other 5 years old kid, I cried out loud. This one I remembered well, coz I was crying ssssooooo long and sssoooo louddd.... and still get a llloonnggg and good scolding from my mother coz I think she also got too shock. She actually has warned me and my cuz many2 time, that the uniquely shaped power plug is not for us to play with. Tapi namanya jg bandel, yah tetep main lah bombie :D heheheeh. The next thing I know, the power plug there was taken off completely. hahahaha :)

Then when I was around 8/9, me, my cousins and my grandmom were all eating at KFC di Pasar Baru. U knoe Indo's KFC always have this bars that keep you in line for you to queue? I was done with my lunch and had nothing to do, so I sit on the lower bar. They have 2 level. I put my butt on the lower bar, then my head on the higher bar. Play play play play, swing here swing there until, I fell. Nicely, my head hit the floor hard and I saw everything tebalik, while my butt still stick on the lower bar, kayak posisi kayang. Shock again off course. Very2 painful I still remember it till now. If I can I will start crying like any other girl would do. I didn't. I quickly get up w/ whatever remaining power that I have, look at my grandmom and my cousins to see if any of them realized what have happened. They didn't see at all. So I kept quiet coz I know if I cried, I will be scolded again. Coz it's my fault mah, who ask me to play there ? No one but me. I withstand the pain. Very painfull leh!

And thank God, really no one realize what happen. Just me feeling scarred that I will be a little bit more idiot coz of the side effect :P Puji Tuhan udah lulus kuliah sekarang :)

Next, when I was 12, I fell in my first monkey love. He was my friend from jemputan sekolah. Namanya ? Ada deh...

Anyway, one day I saw him going up to second floor, and I saw no one else at the stairs. So, I run to catch his steps before I loose him from my sight. Since biasanya kita sering berantem, I know that if he see me he will start a small fight w/ me again, and off course diajak berantem sama ur monkey love, u would like it right ? *aneh ya kita semua ?* Anyway, I run to the stairs. I was quite hesitant though, nongol atau ga yah ? If he see me admiring him from behind, nanti bukannya berantem kecil yg kejadian, ada jg dia freak out dong ?

Ogah ah. So, I tried to keep my pace from him but trying to catch his steps too. But dasar jarang olah raga, pas udah ampir deket banget, kesengkat lah gua dengan tepat jatoh ampir hantem dia dari belakang. And off course, dari ga sadar dia akan kehadiran gua, sampe super sadar banget kali kok ada bomb jatoh di belakang gua ? Nengoklah dia, and gua berada dalam posisi kayak memohon sama dia. Yucks, everytime I remember this, pengen bunuh diri rasanya! I think this is still my most embarassing moment in my life !

Apa yg terjadi selanjutnya ? Yah jelas lah yah he walked away (ga kaya di felem2 atau komik gua dibantu berdiri gitu...kagak ada deh), and a 12 year old bombie terluka dengan sangat dalamnya disana. hohoho...Next thing I did, I run to toilet, cried and cried, then avoid to have a contact w/ him in jemputan.

Terus.... teens and all then, life agak normal2 aja. Paling ada jatoh sekali dua kali, sampe harus diurut si mbok 3 kali, tepat di pantat gua.. Coz itu jatohnya tepat ke tulang ekornya bok. Puji Tuhan lagi masih idup and bisa memandang dengan jelas dunia yg masih cukup indah ini. Tapi waktu itu seh .....udah malu, sakit pula, pas diurut teriak2 ampe tetangga bingung. Hohoho...ga ada 2 kali deh....

Then waktu kuliah, sebelon ninggalin Singapore, I manage to patahin senderan tangan di bangku kayu senat yg baru aja diganti, juz becoz I need to write something on the whiteboard, on the top part. Mengira diri enteng, naiklah daku. And not long after that, pyak! Sukses, patah !! horeeee :P When I left Singapore, they only remember the chair that I spoilt.

Then wkt udah di Singapore, I came back and join Senat ppl to go to Puncak. Kita ke, Kota Bunga, main kebut2an, then foto2. Nah pas foto, sekali lagi I stand on the wooden bar. Dan, sekali lagi, patah lagi itu pagar kayu. This time I kept quiet sampe ada temen yg nanya lagi, wah kok patah ? Gua angkat tangan, en kita semua rame2 angkat kaki dari sana ninggalin barang bukti. hoohhoohoh

Fast forward, I did not do much clumsiness when I was at NUS *kayaknya* heheheh :) Paling cuman sekali jatoh di Clementi with dari tangga with belanjaan full di tangan and ngejar bus after that :P

But when I start to work, ultimate !!!

Pertama, semua pasti udah tau incident shawl hitam gua. I was photocopying while adjusting my shawl position and the next thing I now, my black shawl went straight into the shredder. I screamed and tried to press the off button, only to press the fast forward. Gua terikat dengan kenceng sama si shawl, sambil teriak2 kecil berusaha matiin, then my collegue saw me and bukannya bantuin, malah ketawain and called others to watch together!!! dasar dah dia.... anyway again, I'm saved and alive till today. On Christmas day that year, I received a black shawl, from that collegue who laugh the loudest at me.

Also on the first year. Chye Soon, my boss then, wanted to borrow staplets from me. I stand up, pull out my drawer, and planned to sit after that as the drawer was too low. Just when I was about to sit, Chye Soon thought that I need space to pull out that long drawer, so he pull out my chair and ....I landed on the land called carpet and made a beautifull sound of "GUBRAX" followed with Chye Soon screaming " Oh my God....Melissa... oh goodness...are you okay?" I thot it's fine and nothing much to be too panick except the fact that maybe cao keng (ngongkong) dikit...kan pake rok....

But to my horror, a lot of ppl standing up and run to my cubicles to check wads that beautiful GUBRAX sound and they saw Chye Soon and me on the floor :P
On the afternoon the same day, Cheryl dropped 1 pack of A4 paper. Ppl stand up and quickly ask : Melissa fall again ?

Also on my first year, it was audit year. 1 funny caller, called my phone asking for document. Being new, I thought it was auditor so I ask my bosses where can I find that document, auditors want it. My Boss tell the bigger boss and both of them, chickened out.

When they finally checked, the one who called is not auditor, I get a meaningful look from both my Bosses. Not angry, but not funny also. My name immediately rise up to surface again. The girl that caused another commosion....

Some tips, if you cant get recognized for your hard work... get recognized for sth else more extreme:P... hehehheheh *ikutin saran ini at your own risk. Can result in an adverse way... bisa jadi dipecat...so pls... hati2 menggunakan saran ini*

Then, many times daku ketiduran di bus sampe dibangunin sama uncle yg udah hafal my position. And the way he wake me up is not those kind gentle2 one. He screamed and shake me w/ full power " missss...Clementi !!! Go down ah miss"... Aiyoh... I tried to avoid him next time but cannot, always same bus.



Then in mrt, another uncle wake me up at raffless, telling me " miss, raffless.." I took 3 seconds to fully realized what he was saying, and manage to just run off before the door closed.

Also, many times I run towards the door thinking that it's raffless when it was : tanjong pagar. Just when I almost step out, I realized I got it wrong, I stopped, turn back to my seat, sleep again (every minute is important) and then wake up at raffless. Part of the sleeping is done to avoid ppl looking and laughing at me.



Then, I always sleep walked to office. So, it is common that, I hit walls when I slept, almost fell off escalator, almost ran off by a car, and etc.

So what did I do again this time ?
On Thursday nite July 31 we went cruise to nowhere with Team A. The next day, we went back to office straight away so everyone is in zombie mode. At 4.30 PM there was a briefing at the townhall. My friend ask me to accompany her to receive her award. I had to go as she's my kid :P Anyway I want to go...very proud and happy of her. My 2 kids get the award so I want to go too anyway...

Then per normal, she rushed me. Being the Miss slow : I quickly packed2 everything till a point where I want to keep my Pen holders, accidentally: Pyang... all my pens and pen holder fly everywhere. Everyone's looking, I stoned for a moment, then start picking my pens up. My friend quickly helped me after stoning together w/ me.

Just as I finish packing up, and about to go up to townhall, I bring w/ me my juice that I had bought earlier. Then, I tripped over the ribbon on my sandals, and quickly adjust to it, so if it's filmed, it's abit like break dance ga jelas. I stabilized but my juice falls and ....tada....mengalirlah my orange-pineaple ke atas carpet and the sound of my tripping has again... caused ppl to wonder and asked : Mel...are u okay ? U tired after the cruise issit ?

If only they knew.... it's just bits and pieces of my life...
My clumsiness.....always get my mom and dad worries bout me... esp sleepwalking part...

but niwei... I'm alive :)

mel {=^o^=}

I need holidayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sutresssssss....
u noe wad I need ?

A HOLIDAYY !!!!!!
I badly need it...
and I badly have plan it at all...
and none seems to be able to go w/ me...

aaaarrrrrrgggghhh...
everytime I see calender .....I feel like throwing it away...
coz this is the first time ever .. in my 4 years w/ Citi....
that I HAVE NOT PLANNED MY LEAVE WELL...
aaaaaaaaa
and that made me stressss... that perfectionist blood in me boiling..
how can I let this kind of thing happen to me...
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH

I need a holiday...
to Japan, Taiwan, or even just Bali...
from Pyong Yang..... or even just Kediri.....
Just somewhere..... where I can melarikan diri...
from accute syndrom of Singaporean quarter life crisis...

HOLIDAYYY....where are u ??????

bombie {=^o^=}
in desperate search of HOLIDAY !!!

Perhaps it's just Your way

This is ...once again... an long due post, which got cut off rudely by my internet line yg suka2 disconnect seenak hatinya :P.... as u can see... It was meant to be posted one day after I send Cindeee :P.. which is July 10.....and now is July 20 subuh..
Thanks God for whosoever who creates and think on this "autosave draft" features.. :)
eniwei....here's the post ......

Sent Cindy to Airport yesterday... New airport....terminal 3... bagus banget ya...
not that I've never been there before.....but this is the first time someone actually fly from there :D. hehehhehe :) keren :)



Another one is gone from this lion city....and moreover...my heart :)
one after another farewell... :P

all started since primary days...when my bestest of confidantes are always taken out from my life's picture.... and things will def-ly change when we meet again..



Yumiko...my closest cousin

Wiwid... my high school BFF

SMFE.... a group of amazing ppl with amazing spirit.......a group where I know I am accepted the way I am....regardless how "camen" I was then .... :P

Eusoff's Julia .... my most painful then.....coz I began to realise the pattern that...my closest buddies are always the first ones that walk out of my life, weakened and suffocated me from suffering the "post-farewell" trauma.....

Then I began to numb myself for all the future farewell, and all future acquaintance I made....I kind of made myself unattached to anyone....that I may easily recover when the exit from my life... I kept my personal space well.......

still.... I hold my tears the day I let my In go to Melbourne...
thinking I will be strong... I still go and send her... :P... that done bad to me :P
I miss her badly... till today.. :) esp during lunch time....it's never da same w/o her :)

then now...Cindy... one of the brightest star shining here ......her courage, her voice, her confidence...shines out like no one's business... No one can ever forget the day she took the step on Undignified1... to follow the Lord throughout her life...
She has impacted others unknowingly....and left a mark in my heart deeply :)
Cindy......One that I certainly put my hope on...
One that....I have to ...once again...let go......

That day I began to realize that my longest confidantes in my life
My bestest friends ever...my angel then...and my angel still...
The last person who did not give up pulling me back to Him... when others had...
and the one that has stayed in my life for a very long time..........
One that I never regret having befriended, stayed together, shared my deepest secret,
stayed till late night chatting, gossiping, enriching life, edifying, encouraging each other....
passing on His message and love to each other....
my Marina... is now in the exit way too.....



Perhaps....it really is Your way...
Taking away my confidantes.....that You will be my one and only confidant...
if such.....
Guess I can only lay rest my faith, hope and love in You..
Before anyone is taken away from me again :) hahahaha :)
can't deal with the pain.... :)



I suppose it's really true what me and Marina discuss that day..
In my most strength... You will not let me shine...that I might not boast myself saying I can do it coz ...partly my ability..... partly Your love for me...

We're saying that amongst us, during our school time, she show a sign that she will be the best money earner, and I'll be ....off course... best put in a home to be homemaker :p
Mostly : I will not show any sign that I'll shine in my career...and she does not show any sign that she will fall in love and marry that soon...
What happen now? My carreer shines more... and her love life definitely shines brighter (she's getting married next year valentine)

True enough: I always believe she will be the best career woman amongst us....but I also think she will marry first...though I know that I fulfill the standard of a good wife more in terms of household skills (jarang2 wife nowadays bisa partime jadi maid....hehehehe)

Sometimes...when I look at this career path I walk...I truly wonder how did He do this...
How can it be me? I really don have whatever it takes to shine as career woman....comparatively to Marina....

But yah... we agree : He wants our Isaac. Career is important for Marina...and He is asking her to be faithfull and give the career to Him to handle.....likewise marriage is important for me...
well......Our Isaac is in His hands now.....I have given mine.....

Doing so.... He's actually covering us from the sin of pride...
a hazardous sin that can befall anyone.... and I'm not prone to it either....
When I can now... I know.... is not coz of me...coz I'm zero....and He's my hero....
When I get married one day.... I acknowledge....is simply coz God loves me so much...
that He gives me companion to share this life He has given us...
not coz I'm worthy to be my husband's wife.....or coz I manage to make him fall so deeply to me.....all coz He loves me:)

This is Your way....a beautiful way to keep me away....from my heart that my go astray...

bombie {=^o^=}

getting old is not the worst thing u can ever imagine

bergerak dari sindrom selasa ga ada kerjaan feel so weird.....
we had dinner today.. 4 memberz of ELG cabang blessed :)
yah tadinya seh mo ngomongin wedding Chairlady..
tapi in the end jadi ngomongin Youth....and lastly... ngomongin masa depan..

Dian bilang : sadarkah kita akan terpisah satu dan lain benua...or at least territory ....
Fenny ikut Edo, Widiya ikut John, Jojo ke Hongkong, Lydia ke HongHong, tersisalah daku and Dian for the meanwhile ... yg mgkn jg ke Surabaya :P
lucu yah hidup....a time to meet .... is always followed by a time for farewell bid....

and when I read widiya's blog (after so long belon check).... she ask the question..
wonder will we ever be juz like Carrie and da gank...
Frenz for life 15 years from now... wahaha...sulitz jg...

en dari dinner tadi...at least I know that :
1> wad I felt laz Sunday... is not anomaly :) It's the general atmosphere...Phew..
Gua pikir gua over sensi lagi ....biasa ... melan :)

2> We need to extend a new youth service.. keluarga muda namanya :D HAHAHAHH :p .... atau ELG Service...*yg ini seh ide gilee ajeee*

3> yah...kita ini pd dasarnya dah harus terima kenyataan en biasain diri denger kata "keluarga muda"..."cabenya si jeng itu enak"...." bawang di geylang lebih garing"......"harga ayam naik...pamperz baby jg naik"........ "citigroup shares drop...sale sale.. quick buy"

ketimbang dengerin "eh Zara sale... 50% loh"......." nonton apa neh weekend ini ?"..... " CK Tangs rabu ini 12 % rebate bok..."........."Si itu lagi deket sama siapa ? Oh yah.. kok bisa? kayaknya ga cocok banget "

4> Yet...along with that... I also find out that we are all...sakit kuping denger kata " keluarga muda" ..hahahha...sounds so scarry :P

5> In vitro is still a better option than adoption. Adoption is still a better option then angkat anak asuh....

6> Lydia Sista itu beneran type B sejati..... The Queen of B_ _ _ (u guess) .....*maap Lyd....hohohoho* we will definitely make a movie called : my gf is type B on her wedding day :)

so... a good dinner it is :) sering2 ketemuannya...
maybe next time we'll have a chance to eat : RICCIOTI :) *masih ngotot*

bombie {=^o^=}

a time for every purpose under heaven

Gua agak heran napa blog David terasa kayak our time in TLG is really up :P
hehehehe :P.... jadi ke-impact :P *hayoh Vid... !!!...mengalir neh urapan*

Coz I've been asking God.....somehow...many time this year..
Each time I got lost... I ask Him again...
Are You sure I'm supposed to still be here Lord ?

Yah Dia pasti tau dan yakin lah yah :)
Coz He holds my future... tp yah ... gua off course frustasi coz the question keeps coming back :P
The answer is always on the spot... : stay !!!

But I cannot stop but wonder..
apa ini sindrom normal yg dialami Ko Omar jg dan lain2nya dulu...
atau emang beneran soon my time will be over..
harus siap2 dong kl soon to be over ?

Coz as I stack on my 6 months upfront...
Kerasa .... this got to end one day......
not too fast not too soon...8 taon di Youth bok :P
yet when my time is up... kok kerasa cepet banget yah ?

anyway:... till the answer is changed to move.... I shall stay.....
coz He still tell me to stay.....many ... many... and many times.....

maybe for my one last dream...
maybe to pull me back from my way that may lead me out of His way...
maybe...to correct my final judgement... final conclusion... grand finale...
of my first chapter of ministry...
perhaps... for something that I wish to be fulfilled too: to leave a legacy for the Last Generation
b4 my time is up.....

one last dream... to revive this all..

I'm still here anak2ku... sampe dijemput babe....
atau dijemput Prince Charming..
Naik lexus ke condo deket Plaza Sing..
HAHHHAHHAHAHA :p
*one last dream*...

btw : the last one is a joke :P

bombie {=^o^=}

about friendship, relationship, marriage and love

I have this in mind long time ago...
But off course due to my wonderful internet...
I cannot post it till now :P

anyway: I was looking at my boss that day
and I got down to a point that I have to admit...
He indeed is a changed man...ever since he got married and even more..
when he has kid :P

In this case he change to a better person ....so much better that than who he was ...
he go home early coz : melissa... quick quick..I want to play with my daughter
during work.. he kept saying : melissa.. must help me make money for my daughter...
don be like that melissa.... my daughter and wife eat wad later ?
He told me he need to go buy her daughter shoes..ask me w/ the shoe at the shop opposite is good..... I give up....I have no daughter boss... i don noe this things :D
When he tell me he need to buy mittens.. go baby's department... I cant stop but laughing...
he... at baby's department ?!?!?!... ahhahahaha :P
and he threaten me : don laugh melissa...I noe this things much better than u okay

I guess it's just unbelievable for me the fact that he change to that extend.
This man... my boss..
the same guy that was still flirting w/ girl at marketing department...the hot kampong blonde...just like 2-3 mths before his wedding :P
the one who always play at arcade till early morning 5 am every weekends....
who...sometimes I feel.. took his wife too much for granted :P

I use to think that his gf... who is now his wife....who happen to be the prettiest girl at her bank last time..... is so "dao mei" *unlucky in chinese word*
why in da world she end up with him ? having a relationship for almost 4 years some more...
and not only that she knew all along that he still flirt around when he's w/ her....
she withstand all that... hanging faithful to him... and finally..end up marrying him..
I would have broken up with this kind of man longgggggggggg timeeeeeeeeeeeee before :P
it's just my principal....

but who knows what will happen in the end? He is a changed man now...
he always say that he is a good man......his wife is very lucky to have him as husband... he will not go wrong... and I use to put 100% denial on all that :P no way boss....no way ...:P

I got it wrong....
en I have to say I admire his wife...
My boss did say : his wife knew of what he is capable of..
she knew that he flirts around...but he will not take anyone else to be his wife other than her...
he always said that... she had confidence in him....

even when he did his last "flirting" session with marketing girl....
I ask him ...did your girlfriend (then) noe all bout this ? How would she feel ? how can u be so cruel ?
he said his wife knew....and she still stand there into the marriage..
I salute her courage and trust in love..... loose to her :)

it's not easy...
I always believe one should be really2 careful before marriage..
coz u have a chance to cut off a lifetime misery before that ....
U just have to be suspicious...and no..u don need to put faith and confidence in ur partner before marriage
well maybe half :) .....just nice enough to make it work...

but once u are in the marriage...
U just have to keep the faith... and keep it very tightly.. that ur spouse wont leave u
.. u must close ur eyes.. ears and every of ur senses :P just believe... even if things gone wrong...
faith and trust is the only subtance left to make your marriage works..

well i see now how faith has brought my boss' wife to her happiness statement now
I bet she's happy enough.. knowing that this husband of her... really adores her and her daughter... love change him ? or his daughter change him... i don noe ... haha

anyway on relationship... and frenship...
I just found out recently... there are so many ppl around me... just get attached
Yumiko, Charles, Handoko :P

Yumiko is particularly an interesting story to be told....
she just got attached with her best friend of 7 years..
funny how we always believe that she will end up with him..
and we always ask....why not just him ? if u need to be together w/ someone close enough..
why not w/ this someone that u have been sharing most of your life story with ?

normal: no chemistry..juz frens... the bestest frens of life.. and this that and all those...
and so just to proof our point..they end up together...
and she felt that it was just 70% rational and 30% romance....
thus she felt weird....where's those magical moment and feeling that "Hey..I'm attached u noe ?"
that rosy feeling of a girl in love...

I told her it's normal....it's no longer puppy love ...
well at least that's what they say...
come on...we are at our late twenties goodness sake..
maybe ....getting attached is just making all da sense of our age :P
without that magical feeling....we'll still be attached in the end

very happy for her anyway... he's a nice guy :)
I am convinced to say that :P heh :P
lesson to be learn for you guys and girls : never underestimate the power of frenship..
you'll never know where it will lead u...
romance is one of the way :P... good if it's what you wish for..
becareful if it's what you are avoiding from...

then on marriage...
I met my client that day... quite close to her..
everytime I met her...we always talk for the longest time...
this time around.. she talk about her marriage...

amazingly.... she told me how not easy it is to hang on...
if she has a choice...she will let all this go..
just waiting for the day that all her kids can be independent..
then she have nothing more to expect.... she want to quit..

when I hear her on what has happened..
indeed it's not easy for her..
he has not been the best option available...
yet she chose him... and she got to stand to her choices till the end..

best of all...all her sacrifises are for her children..
but what the child says is that :
I don remember ur kindness to me...
I remembered when u hit me.....when u treated me badly..
I remembered all that.... but I don remember ur kindness to me..

how painfull....goodness
I can't believe it myself... she's ur mom... doing her best giving her life for her children...
yet ....look at what she got ?
I did not grow up watching her love... but I can witness her sacrifise...even till today :P ...

marriage... is really not an easy subject to digest...
for her will power to hang on till today... salute Tante :)
I pray I may have the same strength as you...
and be a faithful wife juz as you have been :)

I was walking with Devi that day...
we discuss how we tend to see a person's true color when we are no longer in love with them..
we also discuss how certain ppl have such a high standard and principle on their dream love....
and throw all that standard and principle far far away when they start to fall in love :P

Devi then asked ?
what happen to thos that stand by the principle ce ?
well...they end up like me Dev...still single till today ... HAHHAHAH :p
hanging too tightly to these things call principles......
closing the door of opportunity on the other site...when things don fall to our principle..
when principle...at the end of the day... are just principles...
might not be truth...other that just a standing point of view...

I don say u should not follow me and my principle standing life....
for I can witness that I am more than happy to have live my life standing on my principle..
rather than living not by that...and regret it a zillion times

but I do want you not to worship ur principle..
they can fall anytime.... just like mine did :P
and when that happen ...... u might be shattered ...
juz like me....

Thank God He is good...
I am re-shape into a perfect cutting all over..
given a second chance to believe.... hope....keep the faith..

in a perfect love, marriage, relationship and frenship...
the way He creates them
the way He wants them to be
perfect just like Him
in our daily life to be

bombie {=^o^=}