Saturday, October 16, 2010

in irony

Udah lama yah gua ga ngeblog ?
Yah... udah

Coz my heart is not beating on the right track
as I say : my life's been a full mess this year
and things just seems pretty bleak at this point of time
so.....what's the best thing you can do when life seems like one big giant of never ending hole of pain ?

not blogging
yeah... that's the best thing I can do
coz if I bother to draw what's happening, or put into words what's running on my mind....
u might just question : ini anak kenal Tuhan ga seh ?
coz I sound .....hopeless, faithless, fearful, and whatever u name it

jadi..
as much as I want to be so truthful in my own blog....
some things are far better be known silent....then banging a horrible volume

cukup kuminta :
your sincere prayer my dear blogger friends
that if this is a trial
may I pass with flyin colours
if this is just the way things in life is
may I learn the horrible ugly reality with a big heart

that I can still keep that child like faith
a faith as if I have not known how bitter facts can be
a hope as if I am blinded by what bad things that I foresee going to happen tomorrow
and... if it's ever possible

may I be able to find my way back to love
to accept imperfection
to receive His way that may not be my way


Amidst this toughest year I've walked
I felt He's instilling in me to have this:

Patience
I've been pushed to wait
and wait
and wait

just so to proof that I have
truly have
this word : patience

Am I patient ?
Let's just say I choose not to be... or maybe I am just super impatient person

but if there's nothing that I can do other than this word :
wait
just wait
wait...not yet....

I got to learn to have that word the very tearful, tormenting hard way

haih....
just keep me in your prayer :

coz time don wait for my mind to settle down
while I still have these responsibility :
1> Not seem to be ending soon busy working world
2> States travel
3> Wedding Wynne : that pretty much is ALOT of things
4> helping my sis planning her wedding

tolonx....
u might not be able to even imagine me breaking down
but I noe some of you noe me well

remember that I'm just a girl
who has been singly fighting alone in this big cruel world
who is perceived to be so strong just because ppl always see the fighter me
who has been taking projects much way bizarre that I could ever think I can handle
who is not even so clever or brilliant during her school days

inside...... I'm just like any other normal girl
who wants a normal life
with normal way
..........

pls.. keep me in your prayer ..
thanx...so much

bombie {=^o^=}

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