2 random thoughts toss in a blog...salad for your soul...

1st thoughts: Ko Omar's sermong
2nd thoughts: Am I being naive ?

Thanks to Lydia for your blog entry: December 16' 07.

I was superbly sleepy during Ko Omar's sermons today, but I'm mostly awake on the right moment :P... so I am able to still catch few of his and His mesage..........Thank God for that *maap sekalee Ko...ampuni......ini pengakuan dosa namanya...hehehehe*

It is ...scary..living without a dream (Ko mar's sermon: sebuah templakan keras di pipi kiri). To say I'm not one of the person who fall in this cathegory.....will be a lie. Though they always say that they know my long term dream...I doubt they do...as I doubt I myself really know.....specifically....wad on earth am I here for? That FORTE moments.....Wad issit gonna be ? General purpose: I suppose every Christian know wad on earth are they here for....

And even scarier is : the fact that this is not something new that Ko Omar/ other pastor just speak about today. It has been discussed, from Sunday services to FA to daily bread...to anything. The Psalmist says: a man without a vision shall parish. Woo....scary ya ?

Then on prioritising God..sebuah templakan kembali ke sebelah pipi kanan. Hm.. if I fall asleep during sermon...apa ini yah contoh hidup orang yg mengutamakan Tuhan? ....hehehe... Gua yakin jawabannya ga :) lah wong lover of your life is speaking to you through your pastor...and u fall asleep..hm... so yah......no excuses for me falling asleep....I have to get up and rekindle the passion again I know :)

Nah... kl dua itu digabungin....u can say I live my life pretty gambling yah ? Ga ada mimpi...ga terlalu ngutamain Tuhan....wwwooooo.... bahaya bahaya.... Jadi disinilah saya... sadar banget sama kelemahan saya.......I'm not as perfect as what people always picture me to be... The Lord knows it... well !!.. So help me in achieving perfection okay ?...Thank you upfront...

So... wads that got to do with being naive ? That would be the story of me and my moms conversation...seperti biasa... over the phone.... and spt biasa...she's always as negative as she can be... and she questioned my choice of life...on why I'm not pursuing my carreers when opportunities is so wide opened......*especially on money making part*....on how money can help the world goes round....on how money this .. money that.... haih..ngetiknya aja capek ngomongin money...:P udah tiap hari kerja ngomongin hal ini terus :P..

It was a very normal conversation b/w me and my mom.... and forever..I stand in my point of view....on how I do not want to be driven by money...and how much I want her to see how God has blessed me throughout my entire life... and how I really want her to believe that my life...is definitely gonna be so much better than what she can expect it to be.... on God's protection..blessing...love... covering...over my life....and through it all it will be...On stopping to complain and starting to say thanks......

To her..money can buy your health... live longer....live better...
To me... life is christ...and death is a welcoming home to Father's house...

She told me....I'm naive, idelistic, and have not seen the real world out there, on how bad their views can be when they see that you don't have the "wealth"......
I may not know that much but I have come to know how cruel one's life can be .. and I choose not to be affected by how bad the world can be..for wad matters to me... is how God's view over my life....anything else..He'll take care to be in place.....

She said since you're still young.. work yourself hard to achieve a better life.. all relies on your hands and no one elses.......
I told her... my everything is not from my hardwork..not from me at all.....all are just declaration of His love....

The conversation ends with a shock on why Hady won Asian Idol....then we went back to our own TV... I pray hard the day will come... that she may understand how I view a life.....a precious life God has given us......that will be when she understand Christian faith...and the day will come.. * Yang percaya katakan AMIN !!!!!!!!!! ..AMIN BANGET!!!!*

But it is funny to me...I feel I don't really have clear pictures of my dream....that my path is pretty risky to walk on...Pretty uncertain out there.. scary yeah, for it is a really.. seriously ...cruel world out there...........But I stand so strong headed telling her how GREAT GOD has been...and how my life...in my tiny little faith..shall always be good in HIM:) I ask her... to wait and see ....

Hubungan dua hal di atas ? Dalam ketidak jelasan akan impian masa depan gua...and dalam keyakinan akan kebaikan Tuhan yang pasti membawa gua kembali dalam pangkuan kasihNya..sampai Dia benar2 terprioritaskan secara REAL in my life....I will persevere with this Faith and will keep sharing it with whomsoever I'm given a chance

And slowly I know... akan tergambar dengan sendirinya....dreams and visions of mine...not in a day... or a month..it shall be longer... but at least I know.... my dreams are His...and His are mine.....even if it's not specifically be known to me....but step by step...I'm fine enough to live my dream... one day at a time.. :)

Search me again...and seek out my heart o God......in You...our faith will never fails !!

bombie {=^o^=}