Perhaps it's just Your way

This is ...once again... an long due post, which got cut off rudely by my internet line yg suka2 disconnect seenak hatinya :P.... as u can see... It was meant to be posted one day after I send Cindeee :P.. which is July 10.....and now is July 20 subuh..
Thanks God for whosoever who creates and think on this "autosave draft" features.. :)
eniwei....here's the post ......

Sent Cindy to Airport yesterday... New airport....terminal 3... bagus banget ya...
not that I've never been there before.....but this is the first time someone actually fly from there :D. hehehhehe :) keren :)



Another one is gone from this lion city....and moreover...my heart :)
one after another farewell... :P

all started since primary days...when my bestest of confidantes are always taken out from my life's picture.... and things will def-ly change when we meet again..



Yumiko...my closest cousin

Wiwid... my high school BFF

SMFE.... a group of amazing ppl with amazing spirit.......a group where I know I am accepted the way I am....regardless how "camen" I was then .... :P

Eusoff's Julia .... my most painful then.....coz I began to realise the pattern that...my closest buddies are always the first ones that walk out of my life, weakened and suffocated me from suffering the "post-farewell" trauma.....

Then I began to numb myself for all the future farewell, and all future acquaintance I made....I kind of made myself unattached to anyone....that I may easily recover when the exit from my life... I kept my personal space well.......

still.... I hold my tears the day I let my In go to Melbourne...
thinking I will be strong... I still go and send her... :P... that done bad to me :P
I miss her badly... till today.. :) esp during lunch time....it's never da same w/o her :)

then now...Cindy... one of the brightest star shining here ......her courage, her voice, her confidence...shines out like no one's business... No one can ever forget the day she took the step on Undignified1... to follow the Lord throughout her life...
She has impacted others unknowingly....and left a mark in my heart deeply :)
Cindy......One that I certainly put my hope on...
One that....I have to ...once again...let go......

That day I began to realize that my longest confidantes in my life
My bestest friends ever...my angel then...and my angel still...
The last person who did not give up pulling me back to Him... when others had...
and the one that has stayed in my life for a very long time..........
One that I never regret having befriended, stayed together, shared my deepest secret,
stayed till late night chatting, gossiping, enriching life, edifying, encouraging each other....
passing on His message and love to each other....
my Marina... is now in the exit way too.....



Perhaps....it really is Your way...
Taking away my confidantes.....that You will be my one and only confidant...
if such.....
Guess I can only lay rest my faith, hope and love in You..
Before anyone is taken away from me again :) hahahaha :)
can't deal with the pain.... :)



I suppose it's really true what me and Marina discuss that day..
In my most strength... You will not let me shine...that I might not boast myself saying I can do it coz ...partly my ability..... partly Your love for me...

We're saying that amongst us, during our school time, she show a sign that she will be the best money earner, and I'll be ....off course... best put in a home to be homemaker :p
Mostly : I will not show any sign that I'll shine in my career...and she does not show any sign that she will fall in love and marry that soon...
What happen now? My carreer shines more... and her love life definitely shines brighter (she's getting married next year valentine)

True enough: I always believe she will be the best career woman amongst us....but I also think she will marry first...though I know that I fulfill the standard of a good wife more in terms of household skills (jarang2 wife nowadays bisa partime jadi maid....hehehehe)

Sometimes...when I look at this career path I walk...I truly wonder how did He do this...
How can it be me? I really don have whatever it takes to shine as career woman....comparatively to Marina....

But yah... we agree : He wants our Isaac. Career is important for Marina...and He is asking her to be faithfull and give the career to Him to handle.....likewise marriage is important for me...
well......Our Isaac is in His hands now.....I have given mine.....

Doing so.... He's actually covering us from the sin of pride...
a hazardous sin that can befall anyone.... and I'm not prone to it either....
When I can now... I know.... is not coz of me...coz I'm zero....and He's my hero....
When I get married one day.... I acknowledge....is simply coz God loves me so much...
that He gives me companion to share this life He has given us...
not coz I'm worthy to be my husband's wife.....or coz I manage to make him fall so deeply to me.....all coz He loves me:)

This is Your way....a beautiful way to keep me away....from my heart that my go astray...

bombie {=^o^=}