semusim ...eh 3 musim dink...tlah kulalui

Gilee yah

I dont know why gua jadi jarang ngeblog gini ...once a month ..

bisa jadi by the end of the year I will only have 12 posting..

padahal one of my new year resolution was to blog better. Not necessarily more, but better.

That's exactly the sentence I wrote....

okie....nitemare inih kl cuman 12 posting...

when 2011 has been ....really quite an interesting year to begin with

well...yang pasti udah 2 bulan from 2011 abis gitu ajah..... I just cant believe that we've shed 1/6th of the year tanpa berasa anything gitu.. kl foto ...kayak ga kena flash :P haha..

en then....march arrive.. which means : i soon will turn 30 and by the speed that 2011 travels... I actually feel like I am all 30 already....

3 decades ..... 3 X 10 years of breath, heart beat, blink of eyes..

and no....it does not feel like yesterday that I was just born... it does felt like... 30 years ago...HAHA !!

haih (ini lagi sentimentil pindah dekade ceritanya)....though benernya ga sedrama itu seh

hai yah..... so anyway..life goes on.. and 2011 seems like ... going to be another roller coaster up down left right ride..

I had a very dark office moment in January... following a very depressing tough year in 2010. So 2011 does not begin that well, office wise. Which, in my lowest moment, the pressure had dropped to a new depth... so dark and deep that gua felt hopeless... and ....useless.... and no its not my normal low self esteem thought... it's scary kind of blackswanny depressing thought of uselessness... i saw myself as a piece of living junk....

felt like I'm loosing myself... like I don't know me and my beliefs.. my principal.. I'm just turning into someone u wouldn't believe of what wrongdoings I'm capable of

well...that's January...which btw was filled with many wonderful family gatherings since Popo gua en 3 auntie gua dateng ke SG.

so we had countless GREAT dinner, be it home dinner or dine out dinner....countless monopoly, movie & sentosa sightseeing...

how world's apart are those 2 parts of my life.... in January

mungkin gara gara itu gua jadi setengah xin-ting :P ehehheeh :) terlalu tajam bedanya..

and then after much surrendering and ... maybe age is catching up... some calming down here and there....February came...

and Thank God He is faithful... he did not let me spiral down far too long in January....

so February has been great... calmed... better than January, promising, reviving...firming :)

and now I'm fully crossing my fingers, shaping a praying hand....wishing for a good 2011 at the rest of coming months

please ? I'm 30 now... isn't time for the best that's yet to come....to finally come ? or is it always just...yet to come ?

haha...

cepet dateng donk kebahagiaan

bombie {=^o^=}