a very good day

2 minggu lalu marks the beginning of what tough weekends I will have for the upcoming months ahead, for musical preps. A saturday that begins at 10 am is uncool for your tired sleep deprived body that slept at 2.30 AM the nite before...trust me.. en the day did not end early either. It went all the way till past 12 midnite. Kita rayain Alfons early Birthday on Saturday 26 Feb as he is flying jam 6 pagi to USA for biz trip, ninggalin istri tercinta yg .. CONGRATULATIONZ.....lagi hamil 3 bulan *en everyone of you who know it first time from me : say thank u.. haha... erm : kayaknya ga ada:P Jennita beats me to it by blasting it at tweeter ...hoho*

Even though it's a super tiring day, lots of good things happen that day : interesting audicion in the morning, lanjut sama a very good start of TLG Danz ministry serving together with PW team, and then a very good dinner with Jenn & Dasu @ Tony Romas...hey : it's the company that counts !! ...off course having baby back at 30% discount, accompanied by onion rings and salads helps .... hahaha :) and then kita ke Indo Chine, all 15 of us, buat celebrate Alfonso Birthday-o...

Kl gua boleh milih: asli gua pengen banget tidur aja di rumah hari minggunya..if not for the fact that gua udah janji sama Ie Joanne yg lagi dateng dari LA to go to Singapore Expo to CHC service...

Ashtageee.. bangun rasanya susahhh buanget hari minggu itu..... mana kl kita ke CHC ga boleh telat2 banget pula... so I dragged myself to wake up... padahal gua udah usaha berat2an supaya Ieie gua mo ke Bethany since kita bakalan ketemu Ie Vivi yg emang pasti ke BCS.

Tapi Ie Joanne kekeuh ke CHC. So I slip a prayer before arriving there : Lord, udah lama lissa ga ke CHC. Biasanya, after some season away, mereka pasti nyanyi lagu PW baru, making me feel a lil bit not connected... tambah lagi ngantuk gini.... I just dont want to be sleeping away ... and honestly udah lama banget lissa ga ke gereja minggu (sekalian ngaku dosa Lord). I just pray it's worth the sacrifice of waking up so early after a gruelling full activity Saturday.... I pray that it will be a fruitful Sunday

*if God is a human : I bet I would have been punched right at my 2 front teeth for being so calculative and such a complainer. Well thank Him he is God*

And so we arrived there. And let me tell you what you might have already know. No sacrifice offered to the Mighty one, including sacrifice of you sleeps, will ever go wasted. It was such a special day for CHC as it's their last service in Singapore expo (lucky me it's still in Expo en masih ada service hari itu. Gua ga confirm lagi sama anyone, langsung maen dateng aja kesana. Kalo sampe dia orang udah pindah dari Expo....rusuh dah gua dan Ieie gua... ahahha:P pasti heboh kitee). Such an emotional service as they parted with Expo.

As for me, my prayers were all answered. Kita dateng agak telat (jam 10.10 lah masuk)... but they manage to find 2 centre seats for us , 5 baris dari depan. After singing one song they I dont know, they started to sing some song that I know, and it went on all the way. They sang some of my favorite worship song. But I never expected what's coming next, the peak : it was when CHC....who for most of the time I went there, never really sang an old song, sang a very particular old song that's used to be sang many times di BCS 10 taon lalu. A very dear song to me, the one that led me to my road of recovery.

Ga tau kalian inget atau ga but this song has been playing in my head recently :

Thank You for the cross, the mighty cross. That Christ Himself should die for such as us.

And everyday we change into Your image more and more, yes by the cross we are truly be transformed.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise, that You would die for us at such a cost.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise, for the power of the cross.

10 years. It's been 10 years since I first fell in love at the altar.

And at a time when I sometimes feel that my faith is slipping away from my heart, that daily I'm just going further and further away from Xtianity and believing in His divine power, even to the extent that it crossed my mind to step away from a believers life for awhile to maybe experience what is it really living out there without Him, how bad it can be, can a man ever survive ? Can God be just some imaginary friend we all imagining about ? If He is a fair God, why am I having lots of injustice happening around my life ? What have I done wrong ?

Yeah : here it goes, I lay it all down here now. My slipping away faith that I never share or admit to anyone. u always hears me says : I'm fine with God. I always try to look strong on the outside. I know how crushed I am actually on the inside. Truth is : this relationship needs a lot of repair work. The thoughts that cross my mind in January, when I felt depressed and defeated, was even scarier than what I wrote above.

Yet that Sunday, the very fateful sunday when I have to sacrifice my morning sleep and make an inappropriate deal proposal to an all powerful God to help make my service fruitful, He proves He is all the same throughout my up and down 10 years. Faithful, all caring, all loving. Down to the song I needed the most to be sung on that day, He heard. Confirming what He has been confirming weeks before that, and even stronger directly to me : Emmanuel. He's with me. I'm never alone.

To a very hungry soul who sacrifice her sunday rest, and seek for a stable rock of refuge, would a loving God turn away His hands instead of embracing her ? I should have known better right, that He will not turn me down ? I should have known.

All tears, all blessed with a very encouraging message from Pastor Kong about discouragement, all filled with love and assurance, all deeply soaked in fragrance of worship and high on energetic glorious praise, I stepped out from Singapore Expo of CHC's last moment Expo's journey. Thank you my loving God, thank you Pastor Kong.

Rest of the day went with good meals with Ie Joanne at Paradise Inn Ion Orchard and great sumptuous dinner with fellow YRC workers @ Aljunied.

I made a promise this year, that only Him and I know. And with all remaining faith within me that I believe shall be added even more till it overflows: I proclaim that it's not by my power, not my might, but by the spirit of God who starts the work of my faith, who will empower to complete and finish His work of faith within me.

a very very good day indeed.

bombie {=^o^=}