Saved by Grace: A very long blabbering

So today is August 20th, liburan kedua di bulan Agustus.

Biasanya kl liburan gini enaknya nganggur doang right ? Just males2an the whole day, makan tidur nonton, makan lagi, tidur lagi, nonton lagi ....

But not today...out of the sudden (kemaren).....I felt like sibukin diri sendiri today (not that 2012 hasn't been busy) So I came up with a plan to do the following :

1> bersih2 kamar and laundry (yang emang udah gua push to do sampe senen, biasanya weekend)

2> while doing so, ambil foto buat posting about cleaning home

3> make drinks (u'll see later)

4> and as usual fulfill my fetish appetite for make up

5> and the most important of them all...... fire all my thoughts that I've been wanting to blog about...

And all that thots are coming here .... so hang on coz this is gonna be a longggggg posting :P

Jadi ceritanya....minggu lalu gua reached a point of : fed up, "fu****-up" (pardon the language), mentally beaten up.....and so..... I was pushed to a point of....giving up....

Tired....capek.... tired of fighting, of the non stop demands to be a better person, to keep being positive, to keeping up with the tectonic shifts my work place & my life brings in 2012.... capek....

I really felt like giving up on 3 longest race I'm still running so far... guess for yourself what they are... I really just wanna quit these races....

So... gw sering insomnia kl depressed. Badan capek tapi pikiran ga mo rest. I'm sure u've experienced them in your life.... And so malem itu gw insomnia lagi. Puter kanan puter kiri, told my brain to stop thinking, just go to sleep, pipis, coba tidur lagi, pipis lagi....coba tidur lagi...all done with accompaniment of tears all da way.... well, dah lama I didn't have such "teenage tears" moment and like I always say : Thank God for tears! I think it's the best "letting go invention" ever created. And thank Jesus for associating tears with women....

Jadi dalam keputus asaan gw of my tiring life then yang bahkan buat tidur aja...the simplest thing a human can do....susah....kepikirlah gw that maybe this is a good time to write a song, you know ?

Those songs where the lyrics are close to this kind :

"Have you ever feel like giving up ? Where everything you wish to happen just never happen ? Where life just seems to go against you? And no one seems to struggle as hard as you? You feel so alone, as everyone else are standing just against you.

Well this is life. Shit happens, so just keep fighting on, coz you are not the only one fighting so hard just to hang on. Keep pressing on and you'll be amazed how much you can actually take on. And in the end you'll find yourself stronger, better, a fighter, and most importantly you are not alone in this fight you're fighting on. Things never happened without any good reason. And you'll finally see, there's a hero lies in you..uuu...uuu"

and blah ....blah.... blah....*text di atas bukanlah lagu yg sebenernya....hanya lampiasan marahan gw belaka*

You know ? Those songs ? Like : Hero by Mariah Carey, There can be miracle by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, Stay the same by Joe Mac Intre (spelling need to be confirmed), and the most recent one : Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

Those songs that ask you to do just that : hang on, pressing on, fight on.... and for most of the time the conclusion of the song is YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE !!

And that night: I just want to say that those songs are really Bu**sh**s !! (marah neh ceritanya) Coz you know what ? No.... in the end I always find out that I'm not stronger than what I think am.... and No.... contrary to what you the songs says that every disappointment might make one person stronger, better, wad-ever.... they forgot to mention that they don't happen costless. There's full cost involved : scars in the heart, which seriously don't make you feel any better, if not tired .....and mostly....felt totally like ....giving up ! Fed up !!

So no, I'm not stronger or better, nor have I become a fighter !! And you know what ? I am alone (matter of factly....karena emang gw sendirian di kamar ).

So gw pikir, apa gw coba bangun and pen a song that says the truth that " Life's really suck sometimes ! And no, you're not getting stronger trust me" Kali aja gw bisa jadi song writer and reap up a fortune out of this ? Gw cukup yakin byk successful song writer jg started coz they have sucky life :P haha !! Yah perpaduan antara hyung hyung kecapean, mentally & physically, plus jam yg terus bergerak nearer to wake up time bikin gw mikir that I probably should write a different kind of song that says "I'm not strong enough".....sampe gw sadar lagi that.....there is such song :

"I know I'm not strong enough to be, everything that I'm supposed to be, I give up, I'm not strong enough..... Hand of mercy wont you cover me, Lord right now I'm asking you to be, strong enough, just strong enough, for the both of us"

Damn...there's goes my $$ !! haha !! And the song is well written and sounds super good too...sooo....no writing song then. I decided to take warta BCS and read all the articles written....till past 2 am and I'm finally asleep..... so....there goes one of my sleepless night...

And I'm still not stronger, nor am I a better fighter....so I will follow the song and rely on the hands of mercy to cover the imperfect me.

Now let's talk about sport...

Growing up, subject of sports doesn't really come close to my life. Yah bokap gw seh sll berusaha bikin gw jadi sporty through badminton dan yg lain2nya. Most probably coz badan gw yg cukup "bongsor" alias kata gendut, en pelajaran O.R (Olah Raga) di Indo is almost not fun. Ya mo gimana yak...maen Kasti gw takut kegebok, lari keliling SDK XII gw udah kayak Sapi di drag keliling Taman Safari, maen basket takut kena bola di kacamata gw yg minus 8 waktu itu, maen Volley tenaga gw kegedean tiap kali serve selalu keluar bolanya, sikap lilin, handstand, headstand gw kagak bisa.... dan yg lain lain lainnya dah. Gw cuman suka kl kita ambil nilai SKJ, ambil nilai modern dance (hebat yah Indo yg ginian masuk pelajaran olah raga), tiger roll, front roll back roll, and ambil nilai renang.

Yg paling gw sebel ? Apalagi kl bukan : ambil nilai lari !! Gila bete abish dah kl udah ini subject.... so who can ever tell that setelah 30 taon gw idup, gw suka bener lari sekarang, and the distance goes longer and longer ? Gw suka jalan... that's a fact... tapi run ? Not in my wildest dream :) Wad starts my hobby ? My company run last year...To be honest, wad happened last year was... I was quite surprised that I can finish that distance they set in less than 1 hour and I'm not that tired. From then on, gw coba untuk belajar jogging... and now I'm loving it...kinda addicted to running ...haha :P

Looking back, my fitness indeed has increased in the past 10 years ever since gw ditaroh di negara Singa ini. Mulai dari jadi dancer di BCS, then to be involved in musical dance followed by a series of dance classes (some are really life (and body & muscle) changing), to running now. Gw...sedikit nyesel that I'm only a little bit sporty di umur segini.....than dari kecil...but no time for regrets and nobody to blame. My father did his best to plan the interest on me, but .... well some ppl are late bloomers...like me :) ... so I promise myself... if one day gw punya a chance to have a family... I will make sure we are a SPORTY, DANCY, SINGY family !! Marooks haha :P

Lanjut to the third topic:

It's about perfect time ! I here believe that only God has a perfect timing for everything. It was proven again last week. Ceritanya ada seorang client yg terbang dari negara jauh yg beda time zone sama kita. Dia sampe di SG jam 3.50 PM sore. Dr jauh2 hari dia udah book mo ambil duit sebesar .....besar dah pokoknya....hihi :P Dia cuman di SG beberapa jem aja. Di hari yg sama jam 10 malem dia terbang out of SG. Jd waktu dia very limited en very mepet to our cashier's closing time which is 5 PM.

That day, gw monitor abis pesawat dia. Dia mendarat jam 3.45 PM, 5 mins earlier than scheduled. I'm crossing finger that dia bisa arrive on time. Gw call the cashier minta tolong mereka extend the closing time to wait for this client coz ini client terbang dr tempat yg jauuuhhh bener. So cashier kasih gw time limit jam 5.15 PM.

Jam 4.15 gw berhasil telpon sang client, en dia bilang dia udah di imigrasi (adooowww masih di imigrasi, padahal mendarat dari jam 3.45 PM). For the whole 45 mins sampe jam 5PM, gw beneran ga bisa concen kerja nungguin si client. In between telpon cashier nego nego jam lagi....ga bisa tetep 5.15 paling telat. Deket2 jam 5, gw mulai telponin lagi si client en guess wad ? No reception !!(bukan HP SG indeed). Non stop gw telpon dia sampe jam 5.10....ada kali 20 telp. Semua HP dia yg ada dr negara manapun gw telponin...en masih ga keangkat...seriously jantung gw udah lebih cepet daripada waktu nungguin roller coster di USS (padahal ga pernah ngantri si roller coaster emang....hihihih). By then gw udah bahasa roh aja, only God's miracle yg bisa bawa client gw sampe in 5 minutes....gw cuman mikir... wad can 5 minutes do right ?

5.14 PM, msh ga masuk HP nya !! OMG!! .... gw nyerah jg akhirnya, gw telpon Boss gw yg lagi cuti hamil, discuss gimana bagusnya kita handle this matter kl2 si client dateng jam 5.20 / 5.25 en kena rejected by the cashier.

While gw masih discussing, yg gw cukup yakin another minute has gone by,which mean itu udah jam 5.15 PM, tiba2 receptionist telp and THE CLIENT HAS ARRIVED !! TADAA !!! 5.15 PM. DOT !! PHEWWWWW !!!!! Wad can 5 minutes do ? It can change your life... just like 1 second can change the life of Korean fencing athlete in London 2012.

However, I'm also on a mixed feeling about it. On one side I'm fully relieved and thanking God, and amazed the He can answer on the RIGHT EXACT time. On another side I prayed that in my life He will not make me wait till 5.15 PM for all my struggles. My heart cant take it as it rather bears the fear of riding a roller coaster. Haha :P

Now on Indonesia.

Jd tgl 17 kemaren ulang taon negara kite yg ke, 67 :) En tgl 18 kemaren ada acara di YRC, TLG Freshmen welcome. That day team PW nyanyi "Bagi bangsa ini, kami berdiri, dan membawa doa kami kepadaMU. Sesuatu yg besar, pasti terjadi, dan mengubahkan negeri kami. Hanya namaMu Tuhan ditinggikan, atas seluruh bumi"

You know I'm not the biggest fans/ devoter/ lover of Indonesia. Gw cukup tau kl at this point of time gua most probably ga akan balik untuk idup di Indo. Gw ga ngerti kenapa though, when I heard that song, I start to sob. Sobbing & praying for Indonesia, after 11 years. The last time I prayed & fasted for our country was on 2001. Since then, I kinda lost hope for our country. Feeling kinda distance. And I know that I never revived anymore hope for Indonesia.

But that evening I'm affirmed : there is hope for Indonesia, for our hope is in God and not in men. Lastly, I'm affirmed : deep down this heart can't never be taken away, from Indonesia. God bless my country !!

So that's all....my blah blah for last week...

Sekarang, time to show wad I do today :

Start with drinks. So gw mo coba bikin milk tea with earl gray tea + sugar + milk + ice, put them together to shaker, and tadaaaa....

The results. Yg kiri more earl gray, yg kanan more milk. Good ? Not really !! hahaha :) Ga boleh pake milk yg ini kayaknya, harus yg lebih creamy lagi. Tp ntar jadi teh tarik malah.. haha :) Good attempt indeed.

Sekarang about bersih2. So today, gw mo nyapu ngepel kamar. Here is my best friend when it comes to cleaning all the hairs on the floor. Jadi ini adalah roller buat bulu binatang yg dijual di IKEA. Bisa beli yang kayak ginian dimanapun benernya, just that gw tau yang di IKEA bisa di refill aja, and murah :P heheh. This is very useful for me along the week, to not only pick those hairfalls, but also the light dust yg suka terbang2 ga karuan. Jadi kamar gw terjaga bersih rapih ciamik

This is how you peel the sheet after use, to get a new sticky sheet.

And now, to clean the whole house, I will always start with this. This magiclean wiper can be found anywhere in NTUC. Harga sekitar 21 dollar and you can get the stick and 2 dry sheets & 2 wet sheets for trial. Sebelon gw mulai nyapu, I will always start my cleaning house routine with it, as it traps all the lightweight dust that will become a problem if I straight away start with the broom. Soalnya debu enteng itu bakalan terbang2 ga karuan kl kita langsung nyapu. And this stick, does magic to those dust, so waktu kita mulai nyapu, tinggal debu2 yang berat aja yg perlu disapu.

Hasil tangkepan debu satu rumah hari ini adalah sebagai berikut : (picture might be disturbing buat yg ga biasa bersih2)

When done, just take off the sheet from the stick, fold it, and throw it in the garbage bin :P

By the way, this is how we put the sheet in. Masukin ke dalem trappernya yg ada di the cleaning stick.

Seharusnya gw show this earlier tapi lupa foto, so here you go.

What I really like about this stick is that the mob itself is made of rubber. Jadi kl udah buang the dry sheets, you can wash the mob and dry it out.

And then, di sore hari gw maen2 make up. Mari gw pamerkan 22 sets of make up brush from coastal scents yg gw beli July kemaren kalo ga salah....apa Juni yah ? Somewhere dah...(gilaaa...how time flies)....

Emang gua bukan make up artist, tp gw demen banget beli make up. Pasang make upnya mah cuman demen on weekend and on kawinan orang. Tp sekali pasang, full blast kayak wayang sometimes. HEHE :P

Waktu kecil sih centil. Kayanya gw pernah bilang kan kl waktu kecil gw ga mo ke TK kl Mama gw ga mo beliin gw lipstick. When I was young, I really cant wait to wear make up every day when going out. Udah giliran boleh...gw malah MALESH abish :P ahhaha

I use this base, beli pas Dian dulu masih kerja di Luxasia. It was on sale, kl ga salah jadi 12 bucks deh.