Enemies beware

What I face lately has taken up most of mind...
Some of you have known....or even heard it many times...

My world began to pause when all that happened few weeks ago...
In my heart I wish for the world to pause together with me
Coz I can't catch up when I was forcibly made to pause....

But the world never pause
like all that we've heard, said, and happened
Life indeed...always goes on

It feel so much easier telling that to a friend in distress
Of loosing bf/gf, loosing parents, failed exams, stress at work, sickness to battle, financial distress... or anything else
Coz for all the problems I have faced before...it was not that hard for me to move on previously... It took most of the time just a 30% determination.... and 70% action......and here I am.. moving on...

But not this time...
To sum up, this is way much much much tougher quadrupled
and I couldn't get my mind out of it
secretly... I really wish the world can slow down for awhile...
what happen instead : it accellerates..
How many of you realize... this is ...end of May my friend... 5 months of 2008 passed...
and probably my toughest May in my life.. especially with lots of surprises..

Those you depend and defend the most...
Can surprise you with some unthinkable action..
that ....hurts....
Those you don even count on as close friends
May come to your rescue..
that's....very sweet

So there I was thinking so much of wad has happened and how to solve it..wad to do next....and gazillion question marks....
So much thinking that I made lots of mistakes at work when it demands my best currently....
The unplugged that everyone enjoyed.....something I truly anticipated..... was just another day passed by for me......my mind wasn't even there...
I'm absorbed....I juz couldn't be bothered... sometimes it's hard to breathe
tears...are dried up.....
this is bad.... so bad till MC has to arrive in my life...

And my days..
were down..and up....and down..and up...
so is my health.....

Yesterday I was up...
and this morning I was down...
I think negatively..
I didn't fight..
I gave up
I play weak...

So down till I get to a point...
That this cannot last forever...
Time waits for none...
and mostly.. never waited for me..

So I made up my mind..
since nothing has happened yet..
and I could not portray what will happen
I juz have to stand back to the faith that my God is taking control over this..

I have hope for the worst to happen..
But I won't now...
I will hope for the best... the miracle..the magic.... that my God could ever bring me...
I will work with this faith to allow more space for Him to work in my crisis...
I'm presenting Him ... full space...
I have decided...that I want to be His partner in facing these....
and that is ....by standing on my faith...

most of you seen me as a strong woman.. and get shock/confuse to find out how weak I am..
but since you have portrayed as a strong woman...
I might as well got real into the portrayal....

I will be strong.. in Him who strengthen me...
for well indeed I am weak....and my strength comes from one and only Lord...
I won't sit around...and gave up without a good fight...

Feel my fists you enemy... and behold...fear my God
for He is great and greatly to be praised :)
the world tremble at His voice and bow down before His presence
who are we to question at the wonderous way in His creation ?

Beware......my God is with me...
I will allow Him .... to work through me

soon after:
the power of healing start to fall
Grace of faith and strength seeps deep within me

more.... and more... and more Lord :)
I am ready

bombie {=^o^=}
Psalm 37:31- done

ga kuat

Lord...
I cant take any of this anymore...
this is much much way tougher than anything I have ever cross over...
I cant face any of this anymore Father God...

Please.......calm my soul... by my answer.....
my refuge....tower of strength...

for this fear is beyond my limit....
than those I have ever swallowed
it's bitter pill bites me
leaving me shadowed...

Show Your say...
shall come what may
I wont be in dismay
Walking in Your way....

Here in this corner is my heart
full of doubts and thoughts aside
wondering how long more will it last
how will You, bring me to survive this blast ...
what will I learn from all this that's happening so fast ?

bie {=^o^=}

in Jesus name

In Jesus name..
This sentence has never been as soothing as ever.. than that very fateful nite.

2.45 AM, Bishan Street 13th, May 10' 08, in front of my PC
I just came back from Bishan Police Station..
tired, lost, messed up, confused, suspicious, fearful, resentful, relieved at the same time, totally mixed up

it happened all so fast...
and we're lost...how gullible can we be ?
wad was wrong with me earlier ?
that's not my usual style...
a banker for goodness sake ?

I don't know..
I'm lost... cant cry...cant tear...
confused....fully

but it all rest : in HIS name...I rest...
In HIS mighty love...I surrender...
In HIS protection...I'll stay :)

Only by Your supernatural power I may have this life :)
This battle is Yours Lord....I'm out of this field...

and in JESUS mighty name...
I lay this case to Your Hand
God my CEO
God my lawyer
God my lover
God my defender
God my protecter
God my justice
God of righteousness
God of mercy

God my everything...
Amen

bombie {=^o^=}

none

actually...
none :P

don need to read my mind
don ever think of trying...

bombie {=^o^=}

1st time ever

For the first time ever
I finally speak in deep honesty

Last Saturday when I say that there's no one in my heart right at this moment
to the normal extended ELG memberz (which include ELG's Gentlements league)
who happen to bomb everyone that came to the annual meeting the day
I come to realize that I'm speaking it for real
Only after I finish the whole sentence....
and all da way till I reach home...

I admit
I've lied... many times in the past... when I say none.....
it emerge out of my insecurities....

Up to you
to believe it or not this time round

But I know it's for real now..and it shocks me too..
on how good it feels to speak so honestly honest :)
nothing to cover.... none to say :)

the truth.....has set me free :) hihihihi :)

bombie {=^o^=}








but this time around

Then the Lord answer me

Job 38 : 1-7
1> Then The Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said :
2> "Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? "
3> Now prepare yourself like a man:
I will question you, and you shall answer Me.
4> Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth ?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5> Who determined its measuremnts ? Surely you know !
Or who stretched the line upon it ?
6> To what were its foundation fastened ?
Or who laid its cornerstone.
7> When the morning stars sang together,
And all the sons of God shouted for joy ?


Job 40 : 1-9
Moreover the Lord Answered Job, and said :
2> " Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him ?
He who rebukes God, let him answer it"

3> Then Job answered the Lord and said :
4> " Behold I am vile, what shall I answer You ?
I lay my hand over my mouth.
5> Once I have spoken but I will not answer:
Yes, twice, but I will proceed no further."

6> The the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said:
7> Now prepare yourself like a man: I will question you and you shall answer Me:
8> " Would you indeed annul My judgement ?
Would you condemn Me that you may be justified ?
9> Have you an arm like God ?
Or can you thunder with a voice like His ?

Job 42 : 1-6
Then Job answered the Lord and said:
2> " I know that You can do everything.
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
3> You asked, ' Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?"
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4> Listen, please, and let me speak:
You said, ' I will question you, and you shall answer Me.'

5> " I have heard of You by hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You.
6> Therefore I abhor myself,
And repent in dust and ashes. "